Smark Out Moment

Welcome to another edition of WOMEN'S WRESTLING WEEKLY—a rundown of the events which have transpired in the world of women's professional wrestling over the past several days not just with the Superstars on WWE programming, but with Impact Wrestling's Knockouts, ROH's Women of Honor, and even a glimpse at the women on the independent circuit.

GUESS WHO'S GRADUATING COLLEGE THIS WEEK?

*confetti falls* Hello, everyone! Bit of a mixed bag in the world of women's wrestling this week. All in all, I think that WWE devoted less than 15 minutes altogether to women. Sure, we can factor in traveling for the European tour and such, but that's no excuse. Let's explore this, shall we?



"Gabby, are you really combining Raw and SmackDown? Isn't that kind of lazy?"

Yes, hypothetical reader. Yes it is. I'm just following WWE's proud example, though.

Lacey Evans vs. Allie Katrina (Raw)

Move, move, pin, easy victory for the personification of of a Southern cream puff. She cut a brief trash-talking promo after, and was ambushed by Becky Lynch, who locked int he Dis-Arm-Her before Evans fled for the hills.

Winner: Lacey Evans
Rating: 1/5

Ember Moon & Carmella vs. Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose

"Fire & Desire" won with Mandy Rose pinning Ember Moon (cue a single tear falling down my face). Paige, however, emerged with Kairi Sane and Asuka and said that next week, they would begin their dread march through the tag division.

This all took a few minutes. Golly gee, WWE.

Winner: Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose
Rating: 1/5

Here's the thing, folks: ratings are indeed struggling. But that's not the fault of featuring women. Maybe WWE is experimenting to see if it can bring back viewers by reverting to old formulas, but I call BS on that. You can't abandon equity just because you're not creative enough to drive ratings up. Do better, WWE. It's truly not that hard to TRY.

Oh, the IIconics did some stuff too, but none of it held meaning because WWE sucks at tag divisions.



Taya Valkyrie vs. Madison Rayne

I can't believe we're at a point in time where i'm relieved to have a taste of Impact after a week of WWE, but here we are. Tessa Blanchard, with a nicer attitude than we've experienced in the past, was spectacular on commentary and did a great job promoting both herself and the rest of the division.

Valkyrie avoided Rayne at first, retreating from the ring, but it turned out to be a baiting tactic as she blindsided Rayne back int he ring to try and get an advantage. She could only do so much, as Rayne was up to the challenge and neither woman took control for a while. However, with the crowd rallying behind her, Rayne caught Valkyrie in a half-crab submission, and the reigning Knockouts Champion tapped almost immediately. Blanchard said, as we all thought it, that Rayne deserves a title shot.

This match wasn't too long, but I loved all of its components. You have an experienced fighter in Rayne, an arrogant champ in Taya, and a wild card who managed to make the rest of the division sound dangerous still in Blanchard. It flowed well and felt like it held meaning, which is something I can't say for WWE this week. Well done, Impact.

Winner: Madison Rayne
Rating: 3/5

Jordynne Grace vs. Alexia Nicole

In the wise words of Boromir, one does not simply challenge Jordynne Grace to a test of strength and expect to emerge victorious. Shut up, that's exactly how Tolkien wrote it.

Nothing Nicole did could phase Grace. Suplex? Nah. Clothesline? Please. Grace pinned Nicole with a Grace Driver to an uproar from the crowd, and damn, she's over. It's amazing. Later, she walked in on a backstage promo from Kiera Hogan, who isn't having it with friends anymore.

This can only end well.

Winner: Jordynne Grace
Rating: 2.5/5



Nina Samuels vs. Kasey Owens

Oh. Oh my. Nina Samuels does not hold back, does she? After inflicting some quick punishment on the plucky Owens, Samuels took to the mic and accused champion Toni Storm of abandoning her struggling family in pursuit of fame. Which... woof. Now I'll be honest, the last time I remember seeing Samuels (I started keeping up with this show last week) was when she faced Dakota Kai in the UK tournament. And I loved it, so I think it's great that she's got some time in the spotlight.

No video, so here's the last time these two clashed on NXT TV.

Winner: Nina Samuels
Rating: 2.5/5



Mia Yim vs. Bianca Belair

Congrats to Bianca, who graduated from the University of Tennessee this weekend! Imagine walking with her. Anyways, onto the match: this was great. A clash of egomaniacal, badass lady titans with everything to prove and nothing to lose.

This match was all about respect from the get-go; it opened with dueling chants, matching kicks, and lots of hard-hitting strikes and kept that energy going as things between the pair escalated. The amount of swagger and ego radiating from Bianca was staggering in the best possible way, she was talking trash the entire damn match! It was beautiful, I really can't say enough about how much fun this match was. Yim responded to Belair with similar levels of arrogance, but in the end Belair, with the help of grabbing the ropes, escaped with a shady victory.

Winner: Bianca Belair
Rating: 3/5



Oh my goodness, where do I even begin with this show. So, to sum things up, Miz started taking a French course so he can be more, I don't know, classy? Well-rounded? Regardless, he notices that suddenly, Maryse is being extra nice to him and then, after misunderstanding a French phrase she said, believes she's being nice because she is pregnant again. Only... she isn't.

I'm still laughing.



This section includes recaps of matches from around the world in various lesser-known independent promotions throughout the week.

SHINE

Match: Mercedes Martinez vs. Su Yung
Winner: Mercedes Martinez

Bar Wrestling

Match: KC Spinelli vs. Joey Ryan
Winner: KC Spinelli

PROGRESS

Match: Jordynne Grace vs. Martina vs. Millie McKenzie vs. Nina Samuels
Winner: Jordynne Grace

STARDOM

Match: Toni Storm vs. Konami
Winner: Toni Storm

Tokyo Joshi Pro

Match: Shoko Nakajima vs. Thunder Rosa (TOKYO Princess of Princess title match)
Winner: Shoko Nakajima


Can you tell I have a type? Both of these matches featured two women with absolute certainty in their souls that they are the best at what they do. And that belief produced two fun, physical and memorable matches that I just couldn't pick between this week.


This week, Jordynne Grace...

• Successfully defended the PROGRESS Women's Championship and 
• Squashed Alexia Nicole

So there you have it, the breakdown for the week in women's wrestling. What were some of your favorite and least favorite moments from these women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!