Smark Out Moment

Welcome to another edition of WOMEN'S WRESTLING WEEKLY—a rundown of the events which have transpired in the world of women's professional wrestling over the past several days not just with the Superstars on WWE programming, but with Impact Wrestling's Knockouts, ROH's Women of Honor, and even a glimpse at the women on the independent circuit.

Oh, it's wonderful to be back! I've had a wild couple of weeks; I travelled to the Kennedy Center for a conference, won a fellowship to the O'Neill Center, and now I'm preparing to graduate college with a degree in journalism in two weeks! But I couldn't stay away from this column for too long, I missed it too much! Callum did a spectacular job covering WWW, I love reading his writing. Thanks for the assist, friend!

Now, I'll be honest: no Impact recap this week because I did not get to see the PPV and I didn't have time to watch it yet. But when we get back to our regular TV schedule, I'll have coverage for you. Also, it's no secret that WWE, front and center in this week's column, is in trouble. It's just true. There's a lot of stuff swirling around the rumor mill, and while I won't delve into them too much, I will be blunt: I'm not overly pleased with the company right now. I hope things improve. The cynic in me doubt they will anytime soon.



Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

This all began with Alexa Bliss announcing the first entrants in the women's Money in the Bank ladder match: Natalya, Dana Brooke and Naomi. Oh, and Bliss herself. They all bicker, but it gets heated between Bliss and Naomi (remember that half-feud they had a few Manias ago?) and we have a match!

This match never really caught because Bliss, ever the slippery heel, kept having to tie her shoes, but eventually we got a winner, and bless up, it was Naomi with the split-legged moonsault for the pinfall.

Winner: Naomi
Rating: 2/5

Elsewhere...

Becky Lynch and Lacey Evans exchanged words, and I'm reminded that WWE apparently blames its declining ratings in the build to Mania on having women headline, and thinks that women's matches are underperforming ratings-wise. But here's the thing: WWE has a roster with Asuka, Ember Moon, Sasha Banks and Bayley, and they're letting Lacey Evans have the spotlight. Of course ratings will slip. There's no variety, it's just Becky vs [insert blonde woman here].

I didn't watch this segment live. Even Becky freaking Lynch can't get me halfway invested in a feud involving a caricature of a caricature of a Southern belle.



Becky Lynch vs. Bayley

Alright, what am I gonna get mad about this week? Surely nothing, considering I get to watch Becky Lynch and Bayley wrestle on television and potentially plant the seeds for s-

Oh, wait, WWE screwed it up? I'm shocked. Stunned. Dismayed. I'm in a mood this week, can you tell? Blame it on my impending finals.

There's something different in the air when the Horsewomen share the ring. You can always tell when the people in the ring are close, because the strikes are a little stiffer, and the chemistry is just a little stronger. Even in short bursts, it feels bigger. It's a shame, then, that WWE didn't capitalize on this to even just slightly build Bayley into a legitimate contender on SmackDown. It seems like they're pushing her a similar route to Becky and giving her reasons to be bitter, so here's hoping this all leads to... I don't know, literally anything would be nice at this point. Bayley tapped to Becky, and Charlotte came in to beat down her fellow Horsewomen. Because we can't forget about Charlotte.

I'm sorry, I feel like i'm taking my frustrations out on her. She's great.

Winner: Becky Lynch
Rating: 2.5/5

Asuka & Kairi Sane vs. Two Girls

This was your average squash, but I got what I needed out of it, which was Kairi's beautiful elbow drop. So... thanks?

In other news, Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose both want the other to be in Money in the Bank. What a healthy, supportive friendship. It would be a shame if... something were to... happen.

I don't trust anything.

Winners: Asuka & Kairi Sane
Rating: 2/5



Piper Niven vs. Reina Gonzalez

I have been assigned another wrestling show to watch. My soul is dead but my heart is happy because I am hype about the women on this show!

This pair seemed evenly matched at first, but Gonzalez did the smart heel thing and used the ropes (a bit cruelly) to her advantage. However, even her slightly questionable moves weren't enough to keep Niven down. The legend formerly known as Viper hit a Michinoku Driver for the pinfall victory.

This is cool! I love the indie vibe of this show. Don't let Vince touch this with a 10-foot pole. No video this week, so catch this clip from the Worlds Collide special!

Winner: Piper Niven
Rating: 3/5



No real women's action this week, but Shayna got pissed at Cathy Kelly pointing out that she's never pinned Io Shirai. Little blessings, folks.



I thought I had escaped this life, but editorial decisions come for us all. I am once more covering reality television on a wrestling column. I apologize in advance for this.

I got lucky this week, because this episode has a lot of stuff I can relate to: football-related hangovers and the need for a spa day. Miz watches his favorite football team, the Cleveland Browns (lol), and gets, well, wasted. As a Browns fan must. The only problem with this is that he has baby Monroe all to himself the next day so that busy mom Maryse can have a day of rest and relaxation. So, hangover headache and all, Miz hilariously struggles to get his girl through a music class while Maryse obsesses over leaving Monroe alone with him.

I continue to be amazed at how little I detest watching this show. It's legitimately funny and knows exactly why it works. Huzzah, you silly family.



This section includes recaps of matches from around the world in various lesser-known independent promotions throughout the week.

Dynamo Pro

Match: Savanna Stone vs. James Brady
Winner: Savanna Stone

STARDOM

Match: Mayu Iwatani vs. Andras Miyagi vs. Arisa Hoshiki vs. Bea Priestley vs. Hana Kimura vs. Hanan vs. Hazuki vs. Hina vs. Jungle Kyona vs. Kagetsu vs. Konami vs. Leo Onozaki vs. Momo Watanabe vs. Natsuko Tora vs. Rina vs. Ruaka vs. Saki Kashima vs. Saya Iida vs. Starlight Kid vs. Tam Nakano
Winner: Mayu Iwatani

Tokyo Joshi Pro

Match: Shoko Nakajima vs. Miyu Yamashita (Tokyo Princess of Princesses Title match)
Winner: Shoko Nakajima

Ice Ribbon

Match: Giulia & Tequila Saya vs. Rina Yamashita & Yappy
Winner: Giulia & Tequila Saya


I can't help myself. I enjoyed this match despite every part of me telling myself that WWE is letting me down worse than a bad relationship.


Just look at the Money in the Bank poster.

So there you have it, the breakdown for the week in women's wrestling. What were some of your favorite and least favorite moments from these women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!