Okay, everyone, let's all inhale and exhale together and for the love of God, put down your arm from pointing at the WrestleMania sign! Fastlane has come and gone, and we're full steam ahead on the road to the granddaddy of them all! Don't tell Vince I called it that. As always, this week had its highs and lows, so let's analyze them and get Mad Online together, shall we?
Oh, and this article has green in it, so you can't pinch it. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
WWE Monday Night Raw
The short...
We're all fake, and Ronda Rousey knows it.
The long...
Ronda Rousey's verbal tirade of the Raw crowd was good in theory. It established her character's new direction: she hates WWE fans because we're all fake cowards. Which, fair, but she can shut the hell up, okay? As I was saying, it was a good concept, but lacked in practice. As my significant other, who's new to watching wrestling, said to me: she sounds scripted, which is hilariously ironic. The material is there, but the delivery needs some work. Anyways, she's gonna expose WWE and leave Mania as champ, yada yada. Cue the hero we ALL expected: Dana Brooke.
Brooke waxed poetic about working hard to get where she is in the business and earning the respect of the locker room, and it was actually pretty good. But we all knew where this was leading. Rousey took her down, but she only does her armbars on pay-per-view now, which... LOL. I chuckled. Good choice, that. Very on-brand.
Nia Jax and Natalya's match only lasted for the blink of an eye before Tamina's interference prompted Beth Phoenix to attack Jax, disqualifying Natalya immediately.
Overall, this was a decent night for the Raw ladies. This episode took a step back from the Rousey story and started setting up from the rest of the card, which is just fine. There IS such a thing as over-exposing talent. And you just know that WWE will find a way to make this simple storyline confusing as all hell. Huzzah!
Grade: B
WWE SmackDown
The short...
There is one good women's storyline on SmackDown... and then everything else.
The long...
I mean, Asuka won a match. She may not have a direction, but at least there's that. Also, do I detect some tension between Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose? The two bickered following Deville's loss to Asuka, so perhaps that's... leading somewhere? I don't know. Leave me alone. Anyways, after this, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce made fun of Rose and Deville before throwing out a challenge to Sasha Banks and Bayley.
Onto Becky!
Finally rid of that cursed crutch, she exchanged words with Flair about whose legacy speaks louder, and called Ronda brainless, which was as delightful as it sounds. These two are so obviously comfortable with each other that you can't help but pay attention when they share the screen.
Grade: B
WWE NXT
The short...
NXT is loaded. Period.
The long...
Io Shirai's unique blend of the most convincing strikes you'll ever see and high-flying abandon meshes wonderfully with Bianca Belair's hard-hitting swagger. These two put on a banger of a match featuring a nasty reversed moonsault spot that had me thinking Io might not live to eventually betray Kairi's trust. Shayna Baszler, however, didn't settle for staying on commentary and marched right into the ring from the desk and attacked Belair, who just speared Shirai, locking in the Kirifuda.
Kairi emerged to help her friend, but Shayna took her down too.
YIKES. What an all-powerful ice queen Shayna is! She just demolished her three biggest competitors, and she didn't even blink. I love this Samoa Joe energy Shayna is embodying, and I love having a true monster heel in WWE. Fear her, y'all. She's coming for Becky next if she wins at Mania. Mark my words.
Grade: B+
Impact Wrestling
The short...
Tessa Blanchard's anger issues are a win for us all.
The long...
Jordynne Grace, Twitter extraordinaire and renowned badass, took on Tessa Blanchard, whose legendary status was cemented long ago, in order to earn a shot at Taya Valkyrie's Knockouts Championship.
Tessa's biggest hubris has always been her fire. She gets worked up and goes off very easily, and god help whoever is foolish enough to be on her warpath. That emotion, that passion, however, has also proven to be her undoing many times. this week was no exception. Jordynne Grace kept her focus throughout the match and, well, matched Blanchard hit for it. After a reversal-off, Grace got the final laugh and pinned Blanchard to earn a shot at Taya Valkyrie's title. Furious, Blanchard began beating the poor soul who rang the bell, but none other than Gail Kim herself came to the rescue. They brawled, and Kim was suspended because she's supposed to be confined to an office now. I don't know about you guys, but I am 10000000% here for this and applaud Impact for having MULTIPLE interesting storylines for its women... at the same time! A concept!
Elsewhere, Rosemary was trying to find the good in Allie. It wasn't going well. Cue my tears.
Grade: A-
International Corner:
This section includes recaps of matches from around the world in various lesser-known independent promotions throughout the week.
AAW: Pro
Match: Jessika Havok vs. Kylie Rae (AAW Pro Women's Championship match)
Winner: Jessika Havok
EVOLVE
Match: Priscilla Kelly vs. Brandi Lauren
Winner: Priscilla Kelly
SHINE
Match: Ivelisse vs. Mercedes Martinez vs. Priscilla Kelly vs. Su Yung
Winner: Ivelisse
Ring of Honor
Match: Mayu Iwatani vs. Kelly Klein (ROH Women's Championship match)
Winner: Mayu Iwatani
MATCH OF THE WEEK:
Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace
Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace
God, I love Tessa Blanchard. And I love what Impact is doing with its women's division. There's so much good stuff going on, and so much talent to carry these storylines.
WOMAN OF THE WEEK:
Shayna Baszler
Shayna Baszler
NXT belongs to Shayna and I dare someone to tell me otherwise.
So there you have it, the breakdown for the week in women's wrestling. What were some of your favorite and least favorite moments from these women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
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