Smark Out Moment

Welcome to another edition of WOMEN'S WRESTLING WEEKLY—a rundown of the events which have transpired in the world of women's professional wrestling over the past several days not just with the Superstars on WWE programming, but with Impact Wrestling's Knockouts, Lucha Underground's luchadoras, and even a glimpse at the women on the independent circuit.

Wow, was Fastlane better than everyone expected or was it just me? The matches were fun, and it didn't overstay its welcome. I'm actually impressed. That said, WWE still has a lot to explain about its booking decisions, so let's dive right in. You'll find my Fastlane recap at the bottom of this column.



The short...

No more Mrs. Nice Bitch.

The long...

Alright, so Natalya got a quick W over Ruby Riott. On Monday, I was all kinds of Mad Online, but hindsight is 20/20, so I'll hold my tongue. Lacey Evans is still entering and exiting, and I still don't know why WWE assumes that will make me care about her. It actually makes me want to see her less.

So, fun little anecdote for you all, I had my boyfriend over for dinner and to watch Raw, and he arrived right as Tamina and Sasha Banks started wrestling. I said to my boyfriend, "Oh, you don't need to pay too much attention to this match, Tamina never wins-" and then yes, you guessed it, Tamina won. I sighed heavily, but we all know that winning on the go-home show is rarely a good sign, so... yay?

Later in the show, Steph discussed how Becky and Charlotte will wrestle for the "vacant" Raw Women's Championship at Fastlane (even though Rousey is still champ according to the website, but whatever). That was quickly remedied, as Rousey stormed out to say that she wanted her title and she wasn't really vacating it (hahaha). She got her precious back, but Becky and Charlotte would still face each other for Becky to get the chance to be added back to the match at WrestleMania. Ronda finally snapped, and decked Becky and Charlotte both. Charlotte backed off, leaving Becky to be dismantled by Rousey, who stood tall to end the segment.

WWE is obviously into Rousey tearing down kayfabe and openly calling wrestling fake, but I think that this week, they took it a bit too far, especially on social media. There's a way for Rousey to insinuate she's more legit without completely burying the wrestling industry. Maybe I'm just an old man yelling at clouds, but alas.

Grade: B+



The short...

Becky Lynch is Captain Marvel's third act personified.

The long...

I'm really not here for this Mandy Rose push. I think she's decent, but the fact that WWE is brushing Asuka off with this nothing feud is kind of infuriating.

Onto better feuds... Charlotte called Becky out to the ring, and Bex went into a fantastic diatribe about how, even damaged, she's gotten right into Charlotte and Ronda's heads. She's damaged goods, yes, but damaged people have nothing to lose, and Becky is unleashed. The two brawled, and Becky got the better of Charlotte, using her own crutch and locking in the Dis-Arm-Her to close the show.

This crutch, man. This damn crutch.

Grade: B



No ladies' matches this week. Happy Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Tournament, folks!

Grade: N/A


The short...

Those pOOR uNFOrtUnAte soulssssss...

The long...

Su Yung, Dark!Allie and The Undead Maid Of Honor took on Jordynne Grace, Kiera Hogan, and Rosemary, of course, in the much-anticipated dark war match for Allie's soul. This match was a wonderful spectacle full of fun spots and even more proof that both Su Yung and Rosemary as the real deal. After a fairly even match, Jordynne Grace took out Yung and Allie with a wicked suicide dive, allowing Rosemary to spear the Undead Maid of Honor and win Allie's soul. And though Allie's soul may be in good hands, there is no doubt that this story, weird, wacky and wonderful, is far from over.

As proof of that statement, I remind everyone that Rosemary tried to dismiss Kiera Hogan, who refuses to let herself be excluded from Alie's narrative.

Meanwhile, Impact has elected to turn Disco Inferno's misogyny into a storyline, so there's that. H ewormed his way onto commentary, where Scarlett Bordeaux was as well. He spouted sexist crap, and Bordeaux challenged him to a fight and put him in a place. Was it satisfying? Yeah, of course. But I'm more of a fan of not giving sexists a platform at all, even if their purpose is to be made to look foolish.

But that's just me.


Grade: A-



The short...

Asuka is still champ, Sasha successfully defended a championship and Mania's biggest feud is a hot mess.

The long...

Please pardon my skimming the fact that all of our female champions retained to talk about what WWE has managed to do. It's truly impressive, when you think about it.

Becky Lynch was, and still is, the hottest act in the company. She had a clear reason to want to fight Rousey. WWE had a clear thread to follow to WrestleMania. However, because WWE is nothing if not on brand, they found the most convoluted way to possibly tell this story and executed it in the least exciting way. Am I surprised that Rousey interfered? No, it made sense. But restricting Becky to a ridiculous crutch? Come on, WWE.

It's not that hard. It truly isn't.

But hey, Glamazon reunion! That's pretty dope.

I'd give this PPV a higher grade, but when factoring in the dismal Mandy Rose/Asuka match, I have to bump the grade down. Apologies, my friends.

Grade: B



This section includes recaps of matches from around the world in various lesser-known independent promotions throughout the week.

STARDOM

Match: Momo Watanabe vs. Jungle Kyona (Wonder of STARDOM Title match)
Winner: Momo Watanabe
Note: I watched this 20-minute match and it's an absolute BANGER. Try to find a way to watch this and support this promotion. It's so worth it.

Pro-Wrestling: EVE

Match: Charlie Morgan vs. Jinny
Winner: Charlie Morgan

PROGRESS

Match: Millie McKenzie vs. Martina
Winner: Millie McKenzie

Tokyo Joshi Pro

Match: Yuna Manase vs. Mahiro Kiryu
Winner: Yuna Manase


Wonky (but predictably necessary) ending aside, any match between Bex and Charlotte is a win for my eyes. Charlotte is a damn good heel.


SHE FINALLY DEFENDED A CHAMPIONSHIP SUCCESSFULLY.

So there you have it, the breakdown for the week in women's wrestling. What were some of your favorite and least favorite moments from these women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!