Smark Out Moment

Welcome to another edition of WOMEN'S WRESTLING WEEKLY—a rundown of the events which have transpired in the world of women's professional wrestling over the past several days not just with the Superstars on WWE programming, but with Impact Wrestling's Knockouts, Lucha Underground's luchadoras, and even a glimpse at the women on the independent circuit.

Happy Extreme Rules week! In WWE-verse, we've had an interesting week of build up to this week's pay-per-view.



Alexa Bliss & Mickie James vs. Nia Jax & Natalya

Mickie James and Alexa Bliss used some savvy teamwork to gain the advantage over Natalya early into the match, but nothing they threw her way could keep her down for long. After what felt like an eternity, however, Natalya managed to crawl to tag in Jax, who ended things pretty handily with a leg drop on James.

Alexa Bliss then tried to attack Nia with a kendo stick (remember last year? I'd rather not) but ran the second Jax caught it and snapped it like a twig. Power move? Power move. Backstage after all of this unfolded, Jax declared she hadn't forgotten Bliss' lies (which had been proven...right?) and that she would destroy her. Fun stuff.

Winner: Nia Jax & Natalya
Rating: 2.5/5

Ember Moon vs. Liv Morgan

Sometimes, WWE likes to remind us that they have a ton of talent on their roster that have nothing of any actual substance going on. Case in point? This match. Why does it exist? Will it lead anything? How many licks does it take to make it to the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

Essentially, Liv Morgan put up a good fight, but Ember Moon emerged victorious in the end with her patent Eclipse. I was very impressed by Morgan in this match. She looks like she's loving being out there and she's showing obviouse improvement. So I suppose that if anything is to be taken from this match, it's that WWE's talent are raising their own stock...

...and WWE still doesn't have anything for them to do.

Oh, and the two women with the most important feud? Bayley and Sasha? Still in counseling. Thanks, Creative.

Winner: Ember Moon
Rating: 2.5/5



Asuka vs. James Ellsworth (Lumberjack Match)

Quick little story for you guys: a friend of mine bought a video message from James Ellsworth for one of his friends, wishing him a speedy recovery after blowing off his finger in a fireworks accident. FYI: the firework accident was a total lie. I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

NOW onto the wrestling! If you could call it that. Ellsworth tried fleeing several times, ducking out of the way of strikes from the Empress, but not even an attempted interference from Carmella could keep Ellsworth from Asuka's clutches. She made him tap with the Asuka lock.

I'd call it an empowering moment for women...but it wasn't. It was just a squash that's a bit amusing, but mostly dull at this point.

Winner: Asuka
Rating: 2/5



Allie vs. Shotzi Blackheart

After an early lockup, Allie took control of the match and lay a beatdown on the former RISE champion. Blackheart took to the skies, but Allie evaded diving maneuvers twice and took the victory with a mean Codebreaker.

Afterward, Tessa Blanchard came out and took Allie out from behind by throwing her into a barricade. Brutal, but that's what I enjoy about this rivalry. It's a classic bully story, pulling from the same emotions elicited from Maria Kanellis' storyline with Allie. And their chemistry is so good that I can't even bring myself to mind.

It's cool to see Shotzi Blackheart on Impact. I saw her live almost a year ago and thought she was brilliant. Allie, of course, is the essence of plucky grit, and she continues to be a joy to watch.

Winner: Allie
Rating: 2.5/5



Ivelisse vs. Joey Ryan

At stake? An Aztec medallion. At bat? Ivelisse and the man with the most magical penis in the world. Hey Mom, thanks for reading this article, and yes, I did just write that.

After some grandstanding led to each wrestler taking some pretty stiff strikes, Joey Ryan got dirty. He rubbed Ivelisse's face into his oily chest, and she responded by throwing him via chest hair. Wrestling, am I right? This match was what I enjoy about intergender wrestling. Joey had the size and strength advantage over her and he knew it, so Ivelisse used her striking skills and swiftness to eventually execute a sunset flip powerbomb and win herself a nice and shiny medallion.

Winner: Ivelisse
Rating: 3.5/5



Kairi Sane vs. Vanessa Bourne

You guys! Kairi won a match with a submission called the Anchor! That's so freaking adorable, I think I might need to punch something. Speaking of which...

The women's title picture on NXT is looking awfully busy, and that's fantastic. Candice LeRae brawled with Baszler outside of her trailer when Baszler called her a cute sidekick. Dakota Kai and Lacey Evans have a brewing rivalry over who should challenge for the title. And Kairi Sane called Baszler out after picking up a win.

Oh, and Bianca Belair is very much out there as well, even if she is sidelined by injury for a bit.

It's a great time to love women's wrestling on NXT! Can't wait to see what comes next!

Winner: Kairi Sane
Rating: 2.5/5



Hello again from the article about wrestling discussing reality television, AKA Gabby's least favorite genre! I'll do my best to sound as salt-free as possible as I detail you the "problems" of the rich, beautiful and famous.

If I sound grouchy, it's because I literally just watched Nikki Bella, who is fun when she's in "feminist force of nature" mode, go full Bridezilla, Bride Kong, Giant bride Squid, whatever kind of monster pun you wanna make...she went there. She then decides to make ALL of her friends bridesmaids, before changing her mind because...she doesn't want any?

What fever dream is this?

In Brie-mode, she and Bryan sit down for a really interesting conversation about her spending habits. Bryan advises her to be careful with her money, because his job is not guaranteed to last long and they need to be ready for that possibility.

Oh, and Bryan takes Momma Bella skydiving. Reality!!!



This section includes recaps of matches from around the world in various lesser-known independent promotions throughout the week.

Pro-Wrestling: EVE

Match: Toni Storm vs. Jetta
Winner: Toni Storm

Tokyo Joshi Pro

Match: Yuka Sakazaki vs. Rika Tatsumi
Winner: Yuka Sakazaki

RevPro

Match: Jamie Hayter vs. Veda Scott
Winner: Jamie Hayter


There were two intergender matches this week.

Only one didn't make me wonder why I watch that company.

Ivelisse and Joey Ryan balanced the comedy of their match with some really fun, fast-paced action. You can't help but be fascinated watching her work, and she told a fun, albeit short, story with Joey Ryan in the ring.


SHE'S BACK! Kaitlyn will be back for the Mae Young Classic, and I couldn't be more thrilled! She was one of the bright lights of the Diva era, putting on fun and intense matches with AJ Lee. I always wanted to see her in this new era on WWE TV. Welcome back, Kaitlyn! Show 'em what you can do!

So there you have it, the breakdown for the week in women's wrestling. What were some of your favorite and least favorite moments from these women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!