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PROMO (In-Ring): Daniel Bryan is in the ring for the first-ever SmackDown Women's Championship contract signing. (Yay?) He says he knows how these things go and wants to keep it civil. The fans boo, and he calls them out on it, laughing. Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss come out (to, you know, sign the contract and obviously get into some kind of scuffle). Both aren't wearing their ring gear, which is actually a bit refreshing. Seeing them in normal everyday clothes makes more sense for a contract signing rather than looking like they're about to announce a match that'll "spontaneously" be sparked. They insult each other on their looks (no complaints here) and then on their wrestling careers. Alexa says Becky is the girl who never quite makes it and wasn't born to be a champion. Becky says she wasn't, but she watched a lot of TV, fought to be a champion, and she'll rip Alexa's head off. Then, they hit each other, as everyone expected.
* Commercial Break *
PROMO (Backstage): The Miz comes up to Daniel Bryan to complain about having a title match tonight. Bryan says it's in his new contract and if he doesn't wrestle, he'll lose the contract.
MATCH: The Usos vs. American Alpha
The winning team will face Heath Slater and Rhyno for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship at No Mercy.
RESULTS: The Usos via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: I really dug the part of the match where Jason Jordan was asking Chad Gable if he was good enough to make the tag, but decided that he didn't want to risk it. That was a great way to lose while also looking somewhat strong. He sacrificed the win to ensure Gable wouldn't get more injured. Awesome. Also, it makes perfect sense for The Usos to win, as they'll take the belts away from Rhyno and Slater.
PROMO (Backstage): Heath Slater and Rhyno talk about The Usos while Rhyno eats cheese and crackers. Slater wants the fans to chant like The Usos - "When I say Rhy, you say No." The Usos show up and threaten to knock the crackers off Rhyno's plate and take Slater's knee out.
* Commercial Break *
VIDEO PACKAGE: Hispanic Heritage Month recaps something about some baseball player. I don't follow baseball's history, so I have no clue who he is.
MATCH: Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin
Jack Swagger is ringside at the commentary booth.
RESULTS: Baron Corbin via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: Seriously, who did Apollo Crews piss off on the main roster to have such a bad run ever since being called up? Does Vince McMahon just not like him?
After the match, Corbin stares Swagger down. They don't come to blows (probably because there wasn't a table with a contract on it separating them).
* Commercial Break *
VIDEO PACKAGE: Curt Hawkins is now doing videos for his stupid Curt Hawkins facts. You didn't miss anything. None of them are funny. When is this guy going to actually wrestle again?
PROMO (Backstage): Charly Caruso (note: I can tell her apart from Andrea D'Marco now) talks to Naomi and Nikki Bella. Apparently, Naomi's glowing outfit is all about confidence and outshining through negativity and all sorts of bullshit that is supposed to be inspirational but should really just be "I don't know, it looks neat." Naomi wants to make Natalya "feel the glow" and Nikki thinks Carmella wants to make a name for herself by attacking her. Carmella's nothing but a bootleg.
PROMO (Backstage): Renee Young talks to Dolph Ziggler about how he has another shot at the Intercontinental Championship later. He needs to prove to himself and the world that he deserves to be there and to do that, he has to shut The Miz up and win the title.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: The Miz (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
RESULTS: The Miz via pinfall after he sprayed Ziggler in the face with something while the referee was distracted.
THOUGHTS: Good match. I'm up for another one at No Mercy once they announce it (it's inevitable).
* Commercial Break *
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Erick Rowan
So Erick Rowan has a new mask. It's even more ridiculous looking.
RESULTS: Randy Orton via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: Saw that one coming two weeks ago, right?
The lights go out and the only thing left in the ring is Rowan's mask. Bray Wyatt comes on the video screen to cut a promo about his typical nonsense.
* Commercial Break *
MATCH: Naomi & Nikki Bella vs. Natalya & Carmella
RESULTS: Carmella quickly gets her team disqualified for some reason and they just basically awkwardly parade around each other.
THOUGHTS: This was a cluster fuck from the moment the first bell rang. Thank God it was quick.
PROMO (Backstage): AJ Styles is shining up his title. Charly talks to him about his "rivalry" with Dean Ambrose and John Cena. He says he has no rivalry because he's not an equal to them. He's superior in every way.
MATCH: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose
RESULTS: Dean Ambrose via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: I'm very shocked this didn't end with some sort of disqualification no-contest after interference from AJ Styles. Nice.
After the match, Styles comes out to attack them both and stand tall. Hey, at least he waited until the match was over, right? Daniel Bryan comes out to say Dean Ambrose gets a title shot next Tuesday (the crowd boos, since they thought they'd get it tonight). Ambrose hits the Dirty Deeds on Styles. Now HE is the one standing tall...which means he has no chance at winning when it comes to No Mercy (as well as next week).
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