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Monday Night Raw is back in action. After two solid shows in a row, can they make it three? SummerSlam is shaping up to be an incredible card with more than its fair share of amazing matches, and last week three of these matches were made centerstage on Raw. Finn and Seth finally met in the ring for the first time and compared how similar their careers have been. Sasha and Charlotte are ready to do battle over the WWE Women's Championship, and of course The Beast vs. The Viper. Last week the show closed with a nasty RKO on Brock Lesnar by Randy Orton. The Beast and his advocate, Paul Heyman, were telling the world how an RKO would do nothing to Lesnar. Well they got the chance to see for themselves as SmackDown Live's own Randy Orton showed up to give him a taste. Expect to hear from the GM and Commissioner over that incident. Daniel Bryan has been invited to Raw tonight to speak on the Brock Lesnar & Randy Orton drama.
PROMO (In-Ring): Four months after their debut, Enzo & Cass are kicking off the show. Enzo talks about his ability to sway Sasha Banks last week, how Y2J Chris Jericho ruined it. Calling him a Axel Rose wanna be and before long Jericho invites himself out. Jericho states that the only reason he is still in this business is because whatever mess he causes, he has a 7 foot maid to clean it up. Enzo has someone to back him up, and now so does Chris Jericho. Out comes Y2J's newest partner, Kevin Owens. Y2J speaks on how he and Jericho have had their issues, but after talking to the great Jimmen Marvinlooter(spelling), Jericho's fictitious partner from last week, and he told him that they need to set their differences aside. Cass compares them to Bert & Ernie, and Jericho says only a stupid idiot would say that. KO says their relationship is a lot like KO's and Sami's. Except he dropped the dead weight in Sami, but Cass just drags him around. If KO doesn't hurt him, Y2J will. Cass says they're ready to go before Jericho calms him down and focus's on the "Hip hop hobbit" that is Enzo Amore. Jericho says he is going to get... "It"... And Enzo is ready to shove "it" down his throat.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: Chris Jericho(w Kevin Owens) vs. Enzo Amore(w Big Cass)
Jericho distracts the ref, and KO gets involved but it goes unnoticed. Big Cass gets mad and hits Jericho with a big boot causing a DQ.
RESULTS: Chris Jericho wins via DQ.
THOUGHTS: This is clearly setting up for a tag team match at SummerSlam, and I'm 1000% okay with that.
PROMO (In-Ring): After the match Big Cass challenges Y2J and KO to a match at SummerSlam vs. him and Enzo. Y2J and KO accept the match. I called that in my previous thoughts. Damn I'm good.
PROMO (Backstage): Mick is on the phone with Stephanie saying they will nip the Randy & Brock situation in the butt, and thats why he has invited Daniel Bryan. Then Sasha Banks comes in, and says she knows her match at SummerSlam won't be a fair match as Dana will get involved. She asks for a handicapped match so she can keep her eyes on Dana. And he says that tonight she will face Dana and if she wins then Dana will be banned from ringside. If she loses, then it will be a handicapped match.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: Braun Stroman vs. Jorel Nelson
Jorel tries to run away, but that clearly doesn't work.
RESULTS: Braun Stroman wins via pinfall.
THOUGHTS: Another squash match, and I still love it. They're finally building this guy up to the monster he should've been from day one.
PROMO (Backstage): Mick Foley and P-Diddy are backstage. Diddy gives Mick tickets to his newest tour, and no one gives a shit. Then New Day comes in. Finally something worth it. Xavier congratulates Diddy on being the soundtrack producer for WWE 2K17. Diddy asks about Big E and his injury he sustained last week, and Xavier & Kofi invite him to jump in on the check up phone call.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: Titus O'Niel vs. Darren Young(w Bob Backlund)
RESULTS: Darren Young wins via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: Darren wins by cheating (grabbing the tights) as a sort of payback to Titus from last week. Another SummerSlam match.
*Commercial Break*
PROMO (In-Ring): Seth Rollins is here to talk about Finn Balor. He calls Finn nothing but a second rate knock off of himself. He's athletic, a striker, but he is nothing like Seth. If being the best was an Olympic Sport, Seth would have more gold medals than Phelps. He says thats enough about him, but theres more for Finn. HE goes on to say that Finn isn't his real name. He made his name under "Prince Devitt" in Japan, but he doesn't say that. Finn Balor stands for, Demon King, in his native Irish tongue. Seth doesn't want to know anything about this Finn, he wants to know the real Finn. He calls him one of the most disrespectful people he has ever met, and he tustve forgotten this is his show. He thinks its blasphemy that he truly believes that he can beat him for the WWE Universal Title at SummerSlam. He brings up the comment that Finn said his title opportunity was "handed" to him and not earned. Seth brings up how he came back from a knee injury in record time for this match, and how disrespectful it is to ignore that. Seth says that he is the myth, the legend, and THE MAN. He is a tale that people will tell their children. How he broke the nose of Cena, defeated the Roman Empire, and how he defeated Finn Balor to win the first WWE Universal Championship.
MATCH: Sheamus vs. Cesaro
RESULTS: Cesaro wins via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: Another great match between these two. Two great workers and they proved it tonight.
*Commercial Break*
VIDEO PACKAGE: They play a video package talking about Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar and how they went through training together. Won championships, and the reason they don't like each other. Randy has disdain for Brock because he left WWE and disrespected it. Brock think Randy is irrelevant compared to him.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: The Dudley Boyz vs. Neville & Sin Cara
RESULTS: Neville & Sin Cara win via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: Great to see The Dudley Boyz back on TV, and Neville & Sin Cara make a great team. Good tag team stuff there.
*Commercial Break*
PROMO (In-Ring): Newlyweds Rusev and Lana are out to celebrate their recent marriage with the WWE Universe. There is cake in the ring with champagne, so basically by the end of this segment someone is going through the table with the cake. Lana calls herself "Rusev's Princess", and he gave her the wedding of her dreams. No one in the crowd was allowed to attend because it was VIP only and the crowd is destroying them with "WHAT" chants. Rusev gets angry for the disrespect, but Lana cheers him up by saying they are going to relive that special night in front of everyone for their pleasure. She then awkwardly kisses his muscles.. She wants everyone to experience their true love. They then play a video package, with piano music behind it, showing their wedding pictures. When it finally ends the crowd is chanting "boring", and Rusev says there is no more pictures even though he knows they want more. They rented a private beach, and he promises to provide anything for his wife and thus being the reason he trains. The cakes cost more than any of the WWE Universe makes in a month. They wrote their own vows, and they plan to relive that special moment. Rusev yells through the boos and tells them to respect his wife. They are redeclaring their wedding vows in front of everyone, and the bride tells everyone to stand and take pictures. Rusev claims that the "jealous American pigs" are booing out of jealousy. Then out comes Roman Reigns. Reigns confronted Rusev last week, and he is out to ruin their special day. Reigns tells the previously happy couple that they need to relax. Reigns says he saw in the video that Rusev has no best man, so he has come to take that duty off his hands. He wants to pour a couple drinks and offer a toast. Rusev says no, and then Reigns said if he won;t accept that maybe he will accept a challenge for the US Title at SummerSlam. Rusev agains says no. Reigns says if he isn't going to accept the challenge, he is offering his toast. Rusev and Lana both yell this isn't his night, Reigns chugs a few glasses of wine and offers a toast. He says he has never seen a marriage between a Bulgarian Sasquatch and a mail order bride. He says he expected more Rusev, just like Lana expected more on their wedding night. That causes Rusev to snap, and during the fight Lana gets hit and goes face first in one of the cakes screaming "I hate you!" at Roman who leaves the ring.
PROMO (Backstage): Rusev is yelling at GM Mick Foley about needing to do something about Reigns ruining their night. Mick says they can settle their differences by having a match at SummerSlam versus Reigns for the United States Championship. It is now official.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke(w Charlotte)
This match determines what will happen during the WWE Women's Championship match at SummerSlam. If Sasha wins, then Dana is banned from ringside. If she loses, SummerSlam becomes a handicapped match with Sasha defending her title against the team of Charlotte and Dana.
Charlotte goes to slap Sasha, but hits Dana instead setting Sasha up for the double knees to the gut for the win.
RESULTS: Sasha Banks wins via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: I thought this might happen. No offense to Dana Brooke, but she does not need to be involved. This one on one match should be a classic.
VIDEO PACKAGE: They show a video hyping up Nia Jax.
*Commercial Break*
VIDEO PACKAGE: A video plays of Finn talking Irish history, and his namesake Finn McCool. He asks Seth of the King Of The Demons. Balor. At SummerSlam, Seth meets the Demon King.
PROMO (Backstage): Doctors Anderson and Gallows come in to talk about "Ringpostitus" which is getting your male parts slammed into the ring post. They have two eggs in a jar as Big E's well.. You get it. And they have a ton of great puns. They go on to say that they will do the same thing to Kofi, tonight.
*Commercial Break*
MATCH: Kofi Kingston(w Xavier Woods) vs. Luke Gallows(w Karl Anderson)
Big E is at home recovering from a "contusion" after getting Ringpostitus at the hands of Gallows & Anderson.
They set Kofi up for some Ringpostitus, but Xavier comes in with a chair to chase them up.
RESULTS: Gallows wins via pin fall.
THOUGHTS: Wow.. Clean finish and a quick one at that. Straight up 1, 2, 3 in the middle of the ring..
VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth, Scooby Doo, and Goldust are in the parking lot. R-Truth seems to believe that Scooby is Goldusts new partner. But then it turns into an advertisement for the new Scooby movie.
*Commercial Break*
PROMO (In-Ring): Daniel Bryan has accepted Raw GM's, Mick Foley, invitation to come to Raw to talk this Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar thing out. Daniel gives his respect to Mick for running a great show on Raw, and Mick returns the favor. DB admits that he surprised he is here since SmackDown is doing so well, and tries to plug it but is stopped. Mick apologizes for Brock coming to SmackDown Live and hitting an F-5 on Orton. DB says that SmackDown fired the first shot with the RKO on Raw. Mick calls out his lie, and plays a video of Daniel mocking the Universal Title on Talking Smack. Bryan insists it was taken out of context, Mick says that the Universal Title is to be taken seriously. Out comes Rusev claiming that Raw needs no new champs they already have the US Champ in Rusev and then says he will crush anyone from SmackDown. DB calls him a brown noser trying to get out of his SummerSlam match with Roman. Cesaro comes out next to stop RUsev. Cesaro says he has an idea for Rusev. He says that he has earned a title shot after winning a few weeks in a row. Mick says he isn't sure, and Cesaro calls him out for saying he was a man of his word. Mick says Reigns gets his title shot at SummerSlam, and he gets his shot.. RIGHT NOW.
*Commercial Break*
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Rusev(c) vs. Cesaro
No Lana at ringside.
Sheamus comes in to distract Cesaro. Cesaro gets hit with a cheapshot, Rusev retains.
As Rusev is celebrating, he gets hit with a huge spear via Roman Reigns.
RESULTS: Rusev wins via pin fall.He retains the United States Championship.
THOUGHTS: This is awesome for a few reasons. One, Cesaro. Two, the US Title is the main event. Three, it was a great match. Cessaro and Rusev both had two great moments/matches tonight.
Stay tuned! Coverage starts at 8pm EST.
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