Smark Out Moment

On June 15, 2014, TNA presents the Slammiversary XII pay-per-view event at the College Park Center in Arlington, Texas. Check here for live ppv coverage of results as well as a review of the show. Until then, here is the match lineup that has been announced so far and predictions for who will win.

TNA Slammiversary 2014 PPV Live Coverage

MATCHES ON THE CARD:

• TNA World Heavyweight Championship [Steel Cage Match]: Eric Young (c) vs. TBD vs. TBD
• Texas Death Match: Bully Ray vs. Ethan Carter III
• Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe - winner advances to TNA Championship match
• Willow vs. Magnus
• James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson
• Austin Aries vs. Kenny King - winner advances to TNA Championship match
• The Von Erichs (Marshall & Ross with Kevin) vs. TBA
• TNA X Division Championship [Ladder Match]: Sanada (c) vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards
• TNA Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love (c) vs. Gail Kim

PREDICTIONS: Going in blind here makes predictions tough, but let's see. Eric Young retains. Bully Ray defeats Ethan Carter III. Bobby Lashley defeats Samoa Joe. Willow defeats Magnus. James Storm defeats Mr. Anderson. Kenny King defeats Austin Aries. The Von Erichs defeat whomever they are facing. Angelina Love retains her title. Sanada drops the X Division title to Tigre Uno.  

Before the pay-per-view begins, MVP is talking to Kenny King and Bobby Lashley. He talks about how he's not even supposed to be there today (someone must have just watched Clerks) and tells them to get the job done.

X Division Championship [Six-Way Ladder Match]: Sanada (c) vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve

I'm second-guessing my prediction. I think Crazzy Steve is going to win this now instead of Tigre Uno. Couple of spots here and there - nothing too nuts. Steve spins around with the ladder on his shoulders and everyone just runs into him. He also tries to reach the belt but looks ridiculous when Sanada isn't ready to prevent him from doing it, so he's literally just pretending like his fingers aren't ON the damn belt already. The believability factor is gone when that stuff happens. "This is awesome" from the crowd, naturally, despite how it's a standard ladder match. Tigre Uno sets a ladder between the ropes and another ladder, horizontally. That'll be a spot in the future that he's setting up. The Wolves double team Tigre Uno with a power bomb/backstabber combo. Now, it's time for The Wolves to turn on each other and slug it out on top of the ladder. Sanada gives Edwards a vertical suplex to the outside. Manik jumps up and lands on the ladder, then gives Richards a sunset flip power bomb onto the horizontal ladder. After this, Sanada climbs up and wins with no real spectacle.

WINNER: Sanada
Disappointing. I'm sure I've just alienated the audience that loves this and I'll get comments that say I'm nuts because I didn't like the overall generic spots that were in this match, but I expected better. Okay, maybe I didn't...maybe I HOPED for better and expected it to be actually worse than this with more crazy botches. Nevertheless, underwhelming, and certainly not "amazing" and worthy of "this is awesome" chants.

MVP comes out. How are they able to use Godzilla's roar in his theme? Anyway, he complains that the fans are booing him, because he showed up instead of staying in the hospital. "Director of Wrestling Operations" is such a ridiculous fake title, too. MVP explains the title match situation that has already been explained before. I do like Kenny King, though. Thankfully, Lashley didn't get any mic time.

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

Even match to start off. The story of the match seems to be "who can punch the hardest, or at least the most". They're definitely keeping up a pace of both of them being relative equals. Lashley hits a spear and the pinfall.

WINNER: Bobby Lashley via pinfall
Not too bad, all things considered. There wasn't much to write about during the match, but I don't really have any complaints. This was adequate for a qualifier to the main event, as you need to leave yourself something left in the tank for later.

Jeremy Borash talks to Dixie Carter in her sky box. She guarantees a victory for EC3 tonight, says MVP was bitten by karma, and really nothing else of note.

Magnus vs. Willow

So Magnus has a vest now and Jeff Hardy is stumbling around dressed like if Sting were also conveniently an emo kid. Abyss comes out to give support to Emo Beetlejuice to balance out Bram. Everything goes as expected so far. Willow hits a second rope splash for a two-count. He then misses a Swanton Bomb. Bram gets involved and Abyss counteracts. Hardy tosses himself backward from the top rope into the pile of others on the outside. Abyss and Bram now fight in the ring, cause you know, that's legal. Willow hits a Twist of Fate twice (the first one was more of a stunner), but only gets a two-count. Bram takes a steel bar from the turnbuckle and Abyss pulls out Janice to fight back. Magnus prevents a Whisper in the Wind. Magnus hits a uranage and wins.

WINNER: Magnus via pinfall
Meh....kind of boring.

Kurt Angle comes out to announce the next inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame: Team 3D. Someone in the crowd is holding a sign that says AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett should be the real HOF members and it's directly in the view of the camera. I think about 4 minutes have gone by of Team 3D just standing there without saying anything. "We want tables" goes on forever.

EC3 cuts a promo backstage about becoming the Hardcore American Icon when he defeats Bully Ray later. I always liked Derrick Bateman. He deserved better in WWE.

Kenny King vs. Austin Aries

Speaking of guys that I like, here are two of them. They keep things at a good pace. Lots of suicide dives on this event, which is getting tiresome. The highlight of the match I'd say is the Brainbuster off the ropes for the victory.

WINNER: Austin Aries via pinfall
Probably the best match so far

The Von Erichs (Ross & Marshall with Kevin) vs. BroMans (DJZ & Jessie)

The Von Erichs seem like steady hands that know what they're doing. They may be a little bland, but they're not bad. Jessie attempts to bring a chair into play twice, and eventually gets a chance to use it on I believe Marshall (the barefoot one - I apologize if I've mixed them up). This causes a disqualification. Kevin Von Erich steps in after the match to take down both DJZ and Jessie (putting the Iron Claw on DJZ).

WINNERS: The Von Erichs via disqualification
Decent filler for a debut.

Backstage, the Beautiful People talk about how they do everything together and 2 is better than 1.

Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love (c) vs. Gail Kim

The first thing of note is an odd bulldog-type move that made it seem like Gail landed a bit awkwardly. Then, Velvet Sky blinds Gail with hairspray (I thought DJZ was just out?). The ref doesn't care. Love hits the Botox Injection and Gail kicks out. Earl Hebner comes out to toss Velvet out of the ringside area and replace the current ref. Gail gets back in the swing of things. Love gets caught trying to use the ropes for leverage. Gail Kim accidentally dropkicks Hebner and Love goes for a rollup, but no referee is able to count. Gail hits her finisher, but again, Hebner is out, so there's no pinfall. Gail then goes for another pin and Stifler comes back in, but not before Love reverses into a pinfall of her own for the victory.

WINNER: Angelina Love via pinfall
I kind of feel like this referee with the Beautiful People thing happened before...like in 2011 or something...

Bully Ray cuts a good promo about how EC3's heart may be to his family, but his ass belongs to Bully Ray. If he believes in God, he'd better start praying, and tonight, he's going to baptize him in blood.

Texas Death Match: Ethan Carter III vs. Bully Ray

Bully Ray uses the rope/cowbell to toss Carter around the ring and choke him. He exposes the concrete and brings out the tables. Good lord, please don't start chanting that for 20 more minutes. A table is set up in the ring on the turnbuckle. Carter brings out a chair and nails Bully Ray a few times. He goes to hit him again and Ray kicks him in the face/chair. Bully Ray brings out a cheese grater and uses it on EC3's chest (by which I mean, doesn't do anything but hold it there and not move it at all). Bully Ray unveils the boards from the ring and asks the crowd whether he should go through the table or the boards. Boards win. Rockstar Spud interferes with a kendo stick, but gets nowhere and ends up being destroyed by Bully Ray for his efforts. EC3 capitalizes and drops Bully Ray on the boards, but he still gets up before the 10-count. EC3 then dumps out shards of glass into the ring. EC3 jumps off the top rope, but Bully Ray gives him the Bubba Cutter on the glass (by which I mean next to it and not actually on it). EC3 goes outside the ring and gets up before the 10-count. He is then nailed in the head with a kendo stick. Ray places Carter on 2 tables set up on the outside and prepares to climb the ropes and jump on him. Dixie Carter comes out to tell Bully Ray not to do it. He yells "I'm gonna kill you, bitch" and goes after her. There's an awful, stupid, ridiculous excuse of an "injury" with Dixie walking toward Carter and then falling and them trying to say she collided heads with him and is totally knocked out. You've got to be fucking kidding me with that. Bully Ray then puts Dixie on the tables instead. Ethan gets back into the ring with a kendo stick and hits Ray, who falls forward into the tables right as Spud removes Dixie.

WINNER: Ethan Carter III through overbooking
This was entertaining until that horrendous excuse of an ending.

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

You're not missing anything until the only talking point happens, when the Dallas Cowboys interfere and eventually celebrate with Anderson when he wins with a Mic Check.

WINNER: Mr. Anderson via pinfall
Waste of time, basically. You should know by now that TNA just doesn't do it for me.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship [Steel Cage Match]: Eric Young (c) vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Lashley's got the power game, Aries has the technical skills and Young has....the championship, which is most important. Then again, there's a spot where Young holds both men up on his shoulders, so I guess he's got some power game as well. I'm not sure how this makes any sense (and thankfully, Taz agrees), but Lashley picks Young up in a vertical suplex and places him at the top of the cage so he can start climbing and escaping. Aries hits a hurricanrana from the top rope on Lashley. Nice. From the top of the cage, Young gives Lashley an elbow drop. Aries breaks up the pin and hits a Brainbuster on Young, who kicks out. Lashley spears Aries, but Young breaks it up. Lashley goes for a spear, but Young evades and Lashley ends up going through the door. I guess you can't win this match by escape? Young hits an elbow drop on Aries, who kicks out. Aries dropkicks Young after a reversal. After exchanging blows, Aries hits the discus and follows it up with a dropkick in the corner. He goes for another Brainbuster, but Young turns it into a piledriver for the win.

WINNER: Eric Young via pinfall
Decent match. Not too bad at all.



Reasoning: TNA consistently bores me on their shows. I always find myself wanting them to end, rather than wanting them to keep going and wishing I had more. There are some talented men and women going to waste and it's a shame. There's always that stench of mediocrity that bothers me when watching TNA and I find it hard to get past that, because any time someone shows me something interesting, it doesn't deliver with the finished product. To each their own, if you love this, then I hope this was a good show for you and you think it was worth the money. Hell...if you love it and you'd like to write up TNA reports on Smark Out Moment, send me a message on the contact form and you can save me a lot of effort and praise what you love in the meantime!