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| WWE SummerSlam 2013 Results |
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United States Championship [Pre-Show Kickoff]: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Rob Van Dam
Some decent back and forth action. The Shield comes out, followed by Mark Henry and Big Show. Lots of interference from the outside (but not enough to cause a disqualification). When RVD looks like he's about to win, Roman Reigns spears RVD.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam via disqualfication.
Not bad for an RVD match. Not fantastic, but not bad.
Time for the host of SummerSlam, the Miz, to come out to introduce what's going on for tonight. He's wearing a tuxedo.
He gets interrupted by Fandango and Summer Rae. They just dance. "Really? Really? Welcome to SummerSlam!"
Jojo Offerman sings the National Anthem. Camera just bumped into something.
Ring of Fire: Bray Wyatt vs. Kane
How can he blow out an electrical lantern?? What's with the Sega sign? That person needs to check out Fanboys Anonymous. They jump the flames up and Erick Rowan REMOVES his mask. Idiot, hahaha.Erick Rowan takes a fire extinguisher and douses the fire on one side. Before he and Luke Harper get into the ring, the fire comes back. Kane chokeslams Wyatt and calls for the tombstone. Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and use the steps to get into the ring, attacking Kane. Wyatt hits his finisher and wins the match.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt via pinfall.
I'm not a fan of the outcome requiring the Wyatt Family to interfere. He could have won without it. Rather weak debut for Wyatt which could have been a lot stronger. They need to do something after this in order to make it seem better. The fire was a bit of a distraction, albeit cool.
Post-match, they set Kane up with the steps to slam his head between them. The angle and everything for that was really bad. Hey now, Wyatt just lit the lantern! Good. Now, they're taking Kane away.
Josh Mathews reintroduces the panel for SummerSlam: Booker T, Shawn Michaels (sporting a Daniel Bryan beard), and Vickie Guerrero.
In a backstage segment, Paul Heyman announces that the Brock Lesnar vs CM Punk match will be no-dq.
Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow says Rhodes was his lackey sidekick in the same sense of Robin/Batman and Watson/Holmes. Cody shaved off the mustache! Good. He looked like a fool. Also, he seems like a legitimate babyface in this match (and not just because of 86-ing the facial hair). Sandow puts Rhodes in a modified Sharpshooter of sorts. Looks like it would hurt. Cody hits Samoa Joe's muscle buster. Cody does the Bobcore Holly kick to the chest, misses a Beautiful Disaster kick (but he gets it a minute later for a two-count). He follows it up with Crossroads for the win.
WINNER: Cody Rhodes via pinfall.
Decent match. I think if they had more time, it would be even better, and I hope that they do in fact have a rematch at Night of Champions for the briefcase. Sandow doesn't really look that impressive after this match, but it's a necessity to prolong this feud. Sandow can win the next one...and should.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Christian
Del Rio tells Lilian Garcia to announce him in Spanish. Kind of bland. I really hate that spot where Del Rio jumps through the ropes. It just looks so ridiculous. Nice spot where Christian goes to the ropes and Del Rio hits a backstabber on him. Del Rio blocks a sunset flip power bomb attempt from Christian, but Christian soon follows it up with a hurricanrana from the top rope. Only a two-count, though. Del Rio takes his kneepad off and goes to nail Christian in the head, but he reverses into a pin. Del Rio kicks out. Christian hits a spear, but his shoulder is hurt. Del Rio moves him into an armbreaker and after a lot of struggling, Christian taps out.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio via submission.
Christian came out of this looking better than I expected him to. The match was also better than I expected, as well. I still don't think it justified a "this is awesome" chant, though.
Del Rio gets on the mic and gloats. People think Sandow will cash in, but nothing happens.
Miz is backstage talking to Maria Menounos about what happened at Axxess. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt. Miz dances off with Maria. New feud?
Natalya vs. Brie Bella
Fans are chanting for JBL...then Cole. "We want tables" LMAO. Brie escapes the Sharpshooter by tossing Natalya into the turnbuckle. Nikki and Eva Marie get involved. So do the Funkadactyls. Brie nails Natalya with a knee. Natlaya catches her and puts her in the Sharpshooter for the win.
WINNER: Natalya via submission.
About as good as you could expect, am I right? Glad that Natalya won. Glad that the referee was paying attention this time, too.
Earlier today at catering, Yoshi Tatsu got some food. Some catering guy gets approached by Ryback, who complains about gespacho being cold. This dude's getting thrown through something. "The big guy doesn't like cold soup". LMAO this is great. He pours the soup down the guy's shirt. He then dumps the rest of it on the guy's head. "Feed me moron".
No Disqualification: Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk
This starts off with a bang. Lesnar immediately just goes right for Punk and since then, it's been steady action. Lesnar starts doing the brutal stuff, tossing Punk like a ragdoll over the commentary table and continuing to just throw him around. Lots of good strikes from Lesnar, particularly to Punk's stomach. Punk mostly is hitting knees. He's got a cut on his back. Punk escapes an F5 attempt and nails Lesnar with a kick. He almost hits a GTS, but Lesnar reverses into a Kimura lock. Punk reverses into an armbar, then a triangle choke hold. Lesnar picks Punk up and slams him down, but Punk stays locked in. Lesnar picks him back up and Punk starts elbowing him. Lesnar gives him a running power bomb. Two-count. Lesnar hits the Three Amigos. Punk kicks out. Lesnar holds up a chair and Punk jumps from the ropes to the outside, but they make it seem like they both took a hit out of it. Punk has the chair now. Time for some back shots. Lesnar catches the chair, but Punk gives him a low blow. "Where's your cup now, UFC boy?" says Punk. Punk starts climbing the ropes with the chair. Punk gives him an elbow drop with the chair. Lesnar kicks out. Heyman stops Punk from hitting Lesnar with the chair again. Lesnar hits Punk from behind. Lesnar picks up Punk in the F5 but Punk holds on to Heyman's tie! LMAO. Punk hits the GTS. Heyman interrupts the 3-count! Punk goes after Heyman and gets picked up for the F5. PUNK REVERSES INTO A DDT! Brock Lesnar kicks out! Punk puts him in the Anaconda Vise. Heyman comes in with a chair, but Punk stops him by stepping on it. Punk punches Heyman in the face and puts the Anaconda Vise on him. Heyman taps out immediately (but of course that doesn't matter). Lesnar hits Punk in the back with the chair several times. He follows this up with an F5 and gets the victory.
WINNER: Brock Lesnar via pinfall.
Damn good match! One of the best this year. They made Punk look strong and Lesnar still looked good in the process. It'll be tough to match that and beat it out for match of the night.
Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn vs. Big E Langston & AJ Lee
Thank God we didn't have to hear Kaitlyn's theme. Big E is jumping around weird. Mostly AJ prancing around with Kaitlyn hitting some power moves. Ziggler's the speed on their team, naturally. Ziggler hits 10 elbow drops. Kaitlyn costs Big E a potential win. AJ goes after Kaitlyn afterward. Kaitlyn spears AJ outside. Big E's straps go down (there goes the PG rating). Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag and gets the win.
WINNERS: Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn via pinfall.
Meh, not too good, but it did what it was supposed to do - fill time.
Backstage, Fandango interrupts Miz again. Miz just hits him.
WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Daniel Bryan
All those fans doing the yes chant. HHH didn't have a huge thing going on for himself, so that's good. Let's see if Cena gets a chorus of boos. Vickie Guerrero may have been the only one to out-boo Cena. Cena's going to try to chain wrestle Bryan to prove that he's good to the crowd, per usual, but they won't care. "You can't wrestle" chants. Cena's left arm is coming into play here. I guess that's to help make Cena look like he went into it not 100% so he still doesn't just flat out lose. Cena breaks out of a surfboard attempt. Cena hits a sit-out power bomb. Cena hits the five moves of doom...just about. Bryan kicks him when he's about to hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Now he hits it. Bryan escapes (almost hurting his legs in the process) and hits a missile dropkick for a two-count. Bryan has Cena in the Yes Lock and the crowd can just tell that he isn't going to tap. Bryan holds on to Cena for a long time who moves all over the place and just awkwardly flips Bryan backward to get out of it. He then, of course, follows it up with an Attitude Adjustment for a two-count. Bryan hits a vertical suplex from the ropes but hangs on while he's upside down, repositions himself and hit a flying headbutt for a two-count. Cena blocks a suicide dive from Bryan with an elbow to the face and follows it up with his top rope legdrop.Cena goes to give Bryan an Attitude Adjustment from the top rope. Bryan continually elbows Cena in his neck. Bryan then hits a hurricanrana from the top rope - but Cena catches him and almost kills him jumping down. Wow. He then turns him around into the STF. Doesn't finish the match. Bryan gives Cena a few dropkicks in the corner and then Cena lands one hell of a clothesline on Bryan. Boo/yes punches. Cena slaps Bryan and says "come on". Bryan slaps Cena back. They continually slap each other repeatedly and Bryan comes out with a bunch of kicks. Cena picks up Bryan and there's either a spinebuster or a DDT...can't tell. Bryan jumps off the top rope and Cena catches him. Bryan reverses for a two-count pin. Byran nails Cena with a kick to the head. Bryan kicks Cena again and HHH counts the pin!
WINNER (and new WWE Champion): Daniel Bryan via pinfall!
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Cena turns Bryan around from celebrating to congratulate him. He shakes Triple H's hand as well. Confetti and fireworks go off.
And there comes Randy Orton! He holds up the briefcase. Bryan is telling him to come on into the ring. Orton turns around and starts walking away. TRIPLE H GIVES DANIEL BRYAN A PEDIGREE.
RANDY ORTON IS CASHING IN.
WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Randy Orton
Orton rolls Bryan over and pins him.
WINNER (and new WWE Champion): Randy Orton via pinfall.
Lots of good spots in this match, uh...nice back and forth action...
HIGH SPOTS
1. Brock vs Punk
2. Daniel Bryan wins the title clean
3. Cody Rhodes shaving off the mustache
LOW BLOWS
1. No tag title match
2. Wyatt Family has to interfere; bad spot with the steps
3. Natalya vs Brie Bella
1. Brock vs Punk
2. Daniel Bryan wins the title clean
3. Cody Rhodes shaving off the mustache
LOW BLOWS
1. No tag title match
2. Wyatt Family has to interfere; bad spot with the steps
3. Natalya vs Brie Bella
CRITIQUE RATING SCALE: 3-COUNT PINFALL (good)
Reasoning: Very good pay-per-view, perhaps the best of the year. Not every match was a 10/10, but overall, the whole event was good.WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE PAY-PER-VIEW?
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