Smark Out Moment

The final of the "big four" pay-per-views of the year comes our way with SURVIVOR SERIES. Can the Rock and John Cena team up long enough to bury the Miz and R-Truth?


The very fact that they've used Mozart to promote the Del Rio/Punk match makes me more excited for it. Awesome.

Out comes John Laurinaitis. He promotes his anniversary in WWE.

Next to the Tron they've got giant images of the wrestlers. I'm not really against or for it yet...not sure.

United States Championship: Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. John Morrison
There's immediately a "we want Ryder, woo woo woo" chant, as expected. Ziggler fist bumps the crowd to a chorus of boos (haha). Morrison's getting quite a bit of offense for someone that might be leaving the company. Hopefully that's another sign that he's staying. I think I've seen 4 Twitter notifications so far. Ziggler rolls Morrison up, but gets a two-count. Morrison follows it with a Flying Chuck, but only gets 2 as well. Ziggler goes for a sleeper but Morrison reverses into a sleeper of his own. Vickie prevents a pinfall and Charls Robinson ejects her. Ziggler goes for a small package, but is unsuccessful. A series of pinfall reversals between the two don't work. Ziggler then hits his leg drop and gets a long two-count. Morrison hits his knee to the head, but Ziggler puts his legs up when he goes for Starship Pain. Ziggler then hits the Zig Zag and wins.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via pinfall.
Good match, good start to the ppv.

Vickie gets the microphone and gives it to Ziggler. "Boy, I'd hate to have to follow that, right?" He says it's not showing off if he backs it up every night like I do. "We want Ryder" / "He's not here!"

Out comes Ryder, but Ziggler beats him down. Ryder fights back and hits the Rough Ryder.

Divas Championship [Lumberjill Match]: Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Eve Torres
Goddamn, look at Rosa. Niiiice. Sorry, I'll keep my male perspective at bay, or at least try, considering how good Kelly looks as well. Beth slams Eve down in such a poor way to start off this match. Ugh. There's a lot of generic, boring, simple stuff in this basically. This could have been much better but they seem like they're not quite into it. Ok, I will give them credit for one thing - the Glam Slam from the top rope was damn good.

WINNER: Beth Phoenix via pinfall.
Crap match with a great ending.

Backstage, Otunga talks to Punk about how he should have legal problems by putting his hands on Cole.

Backstage, the Rock mentions how he was 5 in Madison Square Garden watching Peter Maivia wrestle Superstar Billy Graham. A few years later, he was backstage with Andre the Giant watching the tag title match (and they block out the "WWF"...really?) He then mentions he made his debut with the worst haircut (haha). Now he's making his return. "Lady parts" starts being chanted again. This is eating up a ton of time and it's starting to get really annoying. We don't need to listen to Rock sing "New York".

Elimination Match: Team Orton (Randy Orton, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Kofi Kingston, & Mason Ryan) vs. Team Barrett (Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, & Hunico)
Cody's definitely looking taller or more muscular or something. I'm a big fan of Cody's change and his near ring gear. Sin Cara's got some new gear as well...also white. Kofi has some white ring gear as well. Odd. Wow, Kofi's has the Stay Puft marshmallow man on it. Kofi starts with Ziggler. Once Kofi tags in Orton, he hits an RKO and Ziggler gets eliminated via pinfall. Team Barrett steps away to strategize. Sin Cara and Kofi flip themselves to the outside and Sin Cara seems like he might have hurt his knee - but Swagger is down too, so this might just be a ploy. Nevermind, Swagger is up. There's another "we want Ryder" chant. Now they're saying Sin Cara was eliminated. They're stalling quite a bit, so maybe he's legitimately injured. I'm officially split on the issue, but they seem to be taking a long time to bring a stretcher out and it seems convenient that Sin Cara would be eliminated to even it up. Mason Ryan just manhandles Hunico like a toddler. Cody comes in and hits Cross Rhodes to eliminate Mason Ryan. Sounds like they're chanting for Cody now. Michael Cole just said that Sheamus was bullied as a kid for how he looked - pale skin and red hair...in Ireland....and he's made fun of? WTF? Kofi gets caught up in the ropes and blasted with a kick from Barrett. Wade hits Wasteland and eliminates Kofi Kingston. Sheamus then gets disqualified for refusing to stop kneeing Swagger in the head, so Sheamus is eliminated. Typical WWE...Orton's the star so let's have him beat everyone. Sheamus hits Swagger with the Brogue Kick before leaving. Orton comes in and just pins Swagger. Swagger is eliminated. When's the quick RKO to Hunico coming, 45 seconds or a minute? Orton hits his scoop slam and rope-DDT. Hunico gets tagged in and springboards into the ring but is caught with an RKO! Hunico is eliminated. Orton hits an RKO on Rhodes, but Barrett then catches him with Wasteland and pins him. Randy Orton is eliminated. Team Barrett wins.

WINNERS: Team Barrett (Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes).
Good match, but it could have been better. I'm not the biggest fan of Orton pinning everyone as he didn't need it, but at least Barrett and Rhodes won instead of Orton just beating them in the end as well.

Del Rio is backstage talking to the Bella twins. Johnny Ace comes to check up on Del Rio. Alberto says there's no way he's losing his title to someone who should be sleeping on "the sideway" (I suppose he meant sidewalk).

They're reinforcing the ring for Henry vs Big Show.

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry (c) vs. Big Show
I was unable to figure out what they were chanting, but it sounded like it was a "let's go ____" chant. It might be "we want Ryder", I'm not sure. This match is too slow, which is hurting it a lot. I wouldn't expect it to be crazy fast but it's still too slow. This slow pace is just killing it as they're only doing basically one move and then resting for 30 seconds. Big Show goes for the chokeslam but Henry ends up picking him up and giving him the World's Strongest Slam. Big Show kicks out. Show then kicks out of a splash and an elbow drop. Now there's an "Undertaker" chant. Henry runs into Big Show and they break the security barricade. Big Show just makes it to the ring without being counted out. Big Show hits a superkick on Henry. Now there's an HBK chant, haha. Big Show climbs the ropes but he looks SO uncomfortable doing this. Oh my God, this is going to be a disaster. Elbow drop from the top rope! Wow. Mark Henry kicks out. Now they're chanting "Randy Savage", hahaha. I love New York crowds. Henry kicks Show in the crotch and gets himself disqualified.

WINNER: Big Show via disqualification.
Outside of the two interesting spots, the match was otherwise slow, boring, and just not that entertaining in my mind.

Henry gets a chair and scares off referee Charles Robinson. Henry puts the chair on Big Show's ankle but Big Show moves out of the way before Henry can hit the Vader Bomb. Show hits the WMD and knocks out Mark Henry. "Daniel Bryan" chant breaks out. Show puts Henry's leg in the chair and leg drops it. The trainers come out to check up on him.

Backstage, Matt Striker interviews Wade Barrett. The Barrett Barrage is unstoppable and he's going to be the first ever English world champion. Miz shows up to interrupt with "Really?" R-Truth asks if tonight is all about the Barrett Barrage. Wade says "I believe your American Charlie Sheen calls it winning". Barrett leaves. Truth and Miz talk again about how the focus should be on them instead of everything else. Truth says he saw all those pigeons staring up at the Rock/Cena signs and he yelled at them that they're going to lose. "Do you know what those pigeons said to me? Nothing..cause they're pigeons...they don't talk, they just crap. Crap is crap, and tonight, crap is gonna get got." Oh man, I fucking love R-Truth. You mean to tell me he's not the one that failed for marijuana along with Evan Bourne? Hahaha.

WWE Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. CM Punk
The Fink comes out to be the personal ring announcer of CM Punk! Crowd is firmly behind Punk, of course. Now there's a "we want ice cream" chant. Some generic back and forth...nothing really too much to talk about. They've got their signatures, but nothing special is happening and there aren't really any close calls for the match. Punk eventually hits an elbow drop, making another Randy Savage chant break out. Punk then seems to set up Sweet Chin Music, but just goes to setting up GTS instead. After a series of reversals, Del Rio locks in the armbreaker, but Punk reaches the ropes with his feet. Del Rio rolls Punk up after Punk kicks Rodriguez off the apron. When Del Rio holds his tights, Punk ends up flashing the crowd his ass. Punk then locks in the Anaconda Vice and Del Rio taps.

WINNER (and new WWE champion): CM Punk via submission.
Disappointing. I said before that I didn't think they'd have great chemistry together, but I was still expecting it to be better than the majority of the match.

Punk jumps into the crowd to celebrate and security goes nuts. Punk then jumps back out again.

The Rock & John Cena vs. The Miz & R-Truth
Cena comes out to boos and says to the camera "they love me here". A 'boots to asses' chant starts off. Jesus, the Rock starts off with Miz and has COMPLETELY not lost a step after all these years. That's great. Rock puts Truth in a Perfect Plex, but Cena comes out to knock Miz off the apron and distracts the ref unintentionally. "Fruity Pebbles" chant. Miz starts pointing to Cena, saying for Rock to tag him in, but the crowd boos that idea. Cena does a monkey flip and a drop kick and that's supposed to show up Rock as him being as good, but Rock is unimpressed. Since they were chanting "you still got it" for Rock, they're chanting "you still suck" for Cena, lmao. Cena does the "you can't see me" chant to Rock. Rock comes into the ring to stare him down and Truth knocks Cena down from the distraction. The match then turns into Cena being dominated by Miz and Truth for a good ten minutes or so. Cena puts Miz in the STF but Truth breaks it up. Truth gets tagged in and immediately hit with an Attitude Adjustment. Rock eventually gets tagged in and starts cleaning house. Rock hits the People's Elbow on Miz and gets the win.

WINNERS: The Rock and John Cena via pinfall.
Good match when Rock was in it, not really that great when Cena was, but I'm glad that they didn't have them just completely dominate Miz and Truth entirely.

Rock invites Cena back into the ring. They start doing a cheer-off that Rock wins with ease. He then gives him a Rock Bottom and Cena leaves.