Smark Out Moment

The ppv starts with Vince McMahon saying that Bret Hart won't be in attendance tonight, but he'll be meeting with Bret's representatives later and we'll see what happens.

Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Drew McIntyre
Drew hits the ring, cuts a promo, generic stuff about Teddy. Did I just hear right, that a fan is chanting USA? TNA fans make that mistake at their last ppv and now a WWE fan does the same? This match is very basic, as expected. Nothing's great about it at all. I hope this feud doesn't continue. Nice float-over DDT from Kofi. Nearly every variation of a DDT looks painful. Definitely one of my favorite overall moves. A little later, Kofi hits a tornado DDT which, naturally, looks good as well. Drew kicks out of the SOS, and soon enough, the ref is knocked out. Drew then hits the Future Shock DDT (what's with all these DDTs? lol) but the ref can't make the count. Oddly enough, Drew is being booked in the position a face usually is in. To compensate, Drew drags Teddy into the ring, rips the shirt off the ref and hands it to him, demanding he count the pinfall. Teddy stops at two and refuses to count the three. Matt Hardy runs in, screwing Drew, costing him the match as Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and Teddy willingly counts the pin.

WINNER: Kofi Kingston via pinfall.
The end of the match was completely obvious even before the ppv, but really, that's the best way it could go down. Unfortunately, the match was just ok.

Backstage: Savannah interviews the Hart Dynasty. 
They say they'll make Bret proud when they fight the Usos. He's like a father to them. Etcetera. Nothing really important.

Divas Championship [Fatal 4-Way]: Eve (c) vs. Maryse vs. Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox
Odd placement on the card. I wonder why. Early on, Alicia goes for a cover on Gail, and Eve botches trying to break up the count. How do you botch that? Wait, this is a divas match. Botches are the norm. Pardon my amnesia for a moment there. Gail puts a submission on Alicia while Eve puts a submission on Maryse, and good fucking lord, these girls need to stop screeching. Eve uses a Camel Clutch on Alicia whilst Gail puts a Boston Crab on her. Maryse and Alicia share some words before Maryse plants her with a kick and Eve almost screws up breaking the count once more. Gail hits a few big moves (namely a missile dropkick), but comes up short. Eve pulls off a good looking neckbreaker and follows it up with a moonsault. Surprisingly, they both connect well. Alicia comes in, tosses Eve out, and steals the win!

WINNER (and new Divas champion): Alicia Fox via pinfall.
Started off bad, but it ended up not so awful. Towards the end, it was starting to get pretty good. All in all, I'm very happy Alicia won the title.

Backstage: Big Man and Little Man
Rey pulls the old "I've got heart so I'm going to win even though I never really do" card. Show pulls the "I'm your buddy but I'm gonna knock you the fuck out cause my hand's bigger than your head" card.

Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne
Jericho gets on the mic, saying he's the reason everyone watches the WWE. The crowd pops, haha. He claims everyone is conspiring against him because he's "the top of the mountain" and he isn't getting enough of the spotlight like he deserves. Jericho says Bourne is a nobody who will go nowhere, and he's cowardly for hitting his finisher on him after the match. Bourne gets quite a big pop for someone who was jobbing for the past few months. When the match starts, though, there's a huge "let's go Jericho" chant instead. Evan Bourne brings a quick pace to the match, livening up the ppv a bit. Striker claims that Jericho getting immediately up on his feet is "a tell-tale sign that he's in trouble". I don't know, Matt, I would think it's a much more worrisome situation when he, you know, DOESN'T get up, as that would be how the match ends? Bourne somehow is able to do a hurricanrana to Jericho, even with Y2J being on the ropes. He really pulls some interesting stuff out when they give him a chance. Jericho locks in the Walls but Bourne makes it to the ropes. Despite this being a match they didn't advertise, and including a midcarder, the fans are quite into this, and rightly so as it's good. A lively crowd is a happy crowd, and these guys are cheering for both Jericho and Bourne. Bourne goes for his SSP but Jericho evades it, then hits the Codebreaker. Bourne's leg is on the ropes, though! Nice! Jericho pleads with him to "stay down" and the fans start up another "Y2J" chant. Bourne gets a quick roll-up, but it's only a two. It had me going for a second. Jericho goes for the Walls again, but Bourne reverses into yet another good looking DDT. This is followed by two false attempts at Air Bourne, and eventually one that connects. Bourne gets the three and gets put over like a mother fucker!

WINNER: Evan Bourne via pinfall.
Match of the night so far. Very good! Nearly every one of the reversals didn't seem like forecasts, and this was rock solid from bell to bell.

World Heavyweight Championship [Fatal 4-Way]: Jack Swagger (c) vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio
Man, this card is all over the place tonight. This is placed in front of the Hart Dynasty match and the US title match? Very odd choice of organization tonight, and I can't help but think there's an ulterior motive behind it. Mysterio sucking up to the Lakers with his ring attire. Big Show cleans house, looking like a really dominant force. That is, until Mysterio hits the move of the night: a DDT reversal. Rey and Punk team up momentarily to kick Show out of the ring, but the new alliance is short-lived as two seconds later, Swagger lays them out. Awesome double German suplex involving Swagger, Punk, and Mysterio. Show stops a 619 and rolls through Swagger and Punk, standing tall in the ring once again, and looking like a guy his size really should look. Rey lands a 619 via the ringpost onto Show on the outside, instead, after kicking the steps into Show's legs. Swagger really telecasts a senton. Punk hits the GTS on Swagger, but collapses to the mat instead of going for the pin. Out comes Kane. He goes after Punk, chokeslamming him into the casket, but Gallows makes the save. Punk and Luke run away with Kane chasing them. Rey hits a 619 onto Swagger and gets the pinfall.

WINNER (and new World Heavyweight champion): Rey Mysterio via pinfall.
Not too bad of a match, but man, I'm very disappointed in the outcome. I don't like Mysterio, especially as world champion, and I wanted Swagger to retain. They booked his entire title reign as him losing, basically, which is ridiculous. I'm not looking forward to seeing Rey as the champ and I hope he loses it very soon.

Backstage: The Champ...is...repetitive
If you've seen one Cena promo, you've seen them all.

United States Championship: The Miz (c) vs. R-Truth
The Miz does his version of R-Truth's theme song. "Things are about to blossom, because I'm the Miz, and I'm awesome". R-Truth comes out, and I forget for a moment that I'm not able to fast-forward live TV. You get so used to doing something, like skipping Truth's entrance, that it becomes routine I guess. A chant breaks out, either "Miz is awesome" or "Miz is awful", but it's hard to tell which. Lawler points out that Alicia Fox's title win tonight is "almost a carbon copy" of how the Miz won his US title on Raw. Deja vu on the part of Creative...or maybe just writer's block. A bunch of standard stuff happens, nothing really worth talking about, and I'm starting to hear a "this is boring" chant. That "suplex stunner" move is too good for R-Truth. Miz struggles to stay in position for Truth to do an Axe Kick, as Truth takes a little too long to do it. Truth misses a crossbody from the top rope and fails to get the three with a small package, and Miz answers with a pin of his own.

WINNER: The Miz via pinfall.
Boring match. Raw caliber. Glad the Miz retained, especially in a clean way.

Backstage: The Rated R Interview
I'm going to win, blah blah blah. Edge says something that is very on point: Sheamus doesn't deserve to be in the match with the other three. I couldn't agree more.

The Hart Dynasty vs. The Usos
It's a shame they didn't give this any attention the past few weeks, as this feud started off interesting. Is it just me, or does it feel awkward to have this Samoan stable come out to a slow hip hop song, despite the Rikishi connection? Right off the bat, you can tell they're trying to impress early on. I like that. The match is very fast paced and it gives off the feeling that all six superstars here legitimately want to go behind the curtain and receive a pat on the back and some reassurance that they've got bright futures. So far, it looks like there's some potential. I don't know the difference between Jey and Jimmy yet, though I think Jimmy is the thinner on in the pants as opposed to the shorter tights. As far as skill level, they're about equal. Tamina misses a splash and Natalya strikes her with a clothesline for the win.

WINNERS: The Hart Dynasty via pinfall.
In reality, the only thing hurting this match was the lack of a build and it's place on the card. The match was pretty good, but the fans didn't seem into it, as the last time this feud had the focus on it was what, three weeks ago?

Note: This is perhaps the longest promo in a very long time, setting up the main event. For some reason they felt the need to basically run down everything that all four guys have ever done.

WWE Championship [Fatal 4-Way]: John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Sheamus
It's not long before we hear the usual split crowd doing the "Let's go Cena / Cena sucks" battle.They show that backstage, some of the faces are watching ("with INTEREST" as Cole says...jackass) on a monitor, no doubt foreshadowing the eventual NXT attack. The pro and con Cena chants start up again. This is a very honest crowd tonight, not worried about voicing their own opinions instead of just blindly following the script and being good little boys and girls, but not being rude in an attempt to put the spotlight on themselves. Orton does a double DDT off the ropes onto Cena and Sheamus, making sure the DDT gets at least one more check mark tonight. Lots of back and forth action until Cena locks on the STF, but Edge doesn't tap as Sheamus breaks it up. Orton hits the RKO, but Sheamus pushes the ref out of the way. Edge spears Orton and Sheamus goes for the pin, but that doesn't work either (thankfully). Orton throws Sheamus over the announce table into the commentator's laps. The cameras go backstage just in time to see NXT1 attack the Hart Dynasty, Bourne, Truth, and whomever else was watching the monitor. Michael Cole, for some reason, isn't at the commentary table. The NXT guys interrupt the match, attacking all four participants. Sheamus steals a pin on Cena in the process and wins...ugh.

WINNER (and new WWE champion): Sheamus via pinfall.
Decent match but I'm so fucking annoyed at the finish.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
The matches had some lulls, but were ok, though not 5-star classics. The placement of the matches was really chaotic and that hurt the ppv in my opinion, as there wasn't a steady build of excitement. Things jumped around too much. Putting the divas match on second grinds everything to a halt early on, adding two matches that weren't expected or given much of a set-up (Jericho/Bourne and Harts/Usos) didn't help either, nor did Miz and Truth being rather boring. Some aspects fell really short, such as the Bret Hart and NXT angle. To not have Bret at the pay-per-view and to only use NXT as another attack and nothing more...thumbs down. Two more massive thumbs down to me are Rey and Sheamus winning their titles. I am going to be bored to hell with them as the champions, and neither of them deserve to be even ONE time world champs, let alone twice. I'm glad Alicia won, I'm glad the Miz and Kofi retained, and I'm glad Bourne came out looking like a star, but the idea of Mysterio and Sheamus being the focal points of Raw and Smackdown for now is just annoying as hell to me and I'm not looking forward to it one bit. Barring some rare change of pace which never ends up happening, I'm going to be bored to hell with both shows, and I hope they both lose the titles as soon as possible. I'm not looking forward to more Punk/Mysterio, I'm not looking forward to HHH/Sheamus, and no doubt they'll be beating that into my head for the next few weeks or months. You've been forewarned: if that's the case, you won't be seeing many optimistic and supportive reviews.