Now, I'm not a TNA fan. I check it out every so often and I follow some of the news if something big happens. Basically, I have a generic idea of what they're doing there but I don't pay any attention. I was bored, though, so I figured what the hell...I might as well check out the ppv that TNA considers their equivalent of WrestleMania: Botch for Glory! I mean, Bound for Glory!
First, I missed a few matches, because the Treehouse of Horror episode of the Simpsons means more to me than this. Supposedly, though, there was a really nasty botch involving Daniels. We'll count that as #1. I started watching when they were interviewing Kevin Nash talk about how Eric Young gave him money for protection during the upcoming Legends Championship match. So let's dive into it from there.
Legends Championship [Triple Threat Match]: Eric Young def. Kevin Nash (c) and Hernandez
Even without following TNA 100%, I knew Young would win this. It was telegraphed early on that he would get some sort of cheap win. I'll give them this, though...Hernandez was kind of entertaining. The match was overall ok.
TNA Tag Team Championship & IGWP Tag Team Championship [Full Metal Mayhem]: Team 3D (IGWP) and the British Invasion (TNA) def. Beer Money and Booker T & Scott Steiner
So this was a ladder match, for both tag team titles, essentially. Early on, Booker T gets injured somehow and leaves. SOMEHOW, Scott Steiner ends up not botching like crazy and actually being entertaining. Bunch of spots here and there, blah blah blah. Botch #2 occurs when Beer Money tries a double-suplex and Williams or Magnus, whoever it was, ends up basically landing on RR. Rhino comes out and hits both 3D members with a chair and it looks like Devon accidentally grabs the IGWP titles. If he was supposed to, it looked sloppy, and if he wasn't supposed to, well they're tag champs now. Rhino just leaves afterwards, which was stupid.
Knockouts Championship [Triple Threat]: ODB (c) def. Tara and Awesome Kong
Some back and forth and nothing to be proud of. For some reason, Tara just leaves during the match. No explanation whatsoever. She comes back out a few minutes later to interrupt a pinfall a second too late but the ref just ignores it and says its a two-count anyway. Another botch. Nice finish, though, which could've easily been botched but wasn't, wherein ODB counters Kong and slams her into a chair.
Backstage, they interview Matt Morgan, who screws up trying to say "I'm a college educated man". Botch? Yup. And hilarious.
Submission Match: Bobby Lashley def. Samoa Joe
Blah. The only things interesting to point out in this match are actually the screw ups. They have Lashley come out with his ribs taped up, but it never comes into play. Why? Poor story telling. At the end of the match, they have Lashley put Samoa Joe into some sort of move...I couldn't tell what, because the camera angle was totally ignoring it. Almost immediately, the ref ends the match and the fans are confused. But never fear! In TNA, the commentators are more like narrators than commentators, as they IMMEDIATELY, and I mean IMMEDIATELY claim that Joe didn't tap and that the ref was ending the match because he thinks Joe was unconscious. Then, they screw up again, as they claim that the ref is NOW checking to see if Joe really was unconscious hahaha. Of course, does the camera catch any of that? No. The camera angle was basically letting you see Lashley's back on top of Joe. Really, really bad.
Monster's Ball: Abyss def. Mick Foley
In TNA it seems like every match has to be no-DQ lol. This was the "gore" match of the night for all those fans that seem to think that if its hardcore, it by default means its better. Again, nothing really to talk about here outside of "wow that must hurt" and the screw ups. At one point, a new ref comes in. Foley gets some really shitty fake taser which EXPLODES with an incredibly fake looking fireworks display. This leads to the new ref doing a full on three-count for the pinfall, with Abyss kicking out like two full seconds afterwards, and they don't end the match. Abyss throws Daffney through a table and lots of barbed wire, but once again, the camera angle doesn't capture it at all. Hell, even the fans throughout this match were chanting "you fucked up".
Kurt Angle def. Matt Morgan
Best way to sum this match up is that Kurt Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Morgan, whom kicks him off, but Angle holds on to his foot, tries again, gets kicked off again, but holds on, tries again, etc. Just read that sentence about six times and then tack on "they kick out of their respective finishers and then Angle wins with a victory roll". That's it.
TNA Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles (c) def. Sting
Whole match was just the two of them "showing respect for each other" by slowing the pace of the match down and making it look like they were going easy on their opponent. Out of the blue, AJ Styles gets the win, but the fans don't even react. This was supposed to be the big finish to the main event of the biggest TNA ppv of the year, and it doesn't even get a "yeah!" reaction. Then, AJ Styles gets the microphone and the MICROPHONE even botches!! He needs a new one. Jesus Christ, TNA. This is your Superbowl??? Sting cuts a promo where he addresses AJ Styles as the "new" TNA champion, despite how he won the title at the last ppv. He then says that he won't give a "kayfabe" answer about his retirement, and no, he won't be leaving. And that...that is how TNA ends their biggest ppv of the year...with the loser of the match saying that he won't be retiring, breaking the fourth wall so to speak, and sucking out all the energy.
Wow. I mean, WrestleMania XXV sucked overall, and their main event with HHH/Orton was an immense let down. But you know what the difference is? WrestleMania not only felt like the biggest ppv of the year, but it also had two matches that were very good. The Money in the Bank was just as entertaining as the spotfests of Bound for Glory but actually felt special because it wasn't surrounded by four or five matches that were basically the same hardcore style. And then you've got HBK/Taker which was just phenomenal and didn't have to rely on a gimmick like this TNA pay-per-view clearly did, and still failed. TNA consistently proves to me why I shouldn't be wasting my time watching it, and I BEG someone to tell me why TNA is better than the WWE without using the phrase "they only focus on Cena, HHH, Orton, and Batista" as not only do we all know that, but we all know that WWE is starting to deviate from that AND that that singular criticism of the WWE doesn't mean TNA is better, it just means that the WWE isn't perfect.
There's your goal, TNA fans. You can't use the Hornswoggle argument as TNA is not immune from stupid humor and such, and you can't use the "same old guys" argument as TNA is even guilty of focusing most of its energy on WWE rejects like Steiner. Now try to explain why I shouldn't think TNA is crap after watching this ppv.
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