There weren't any women's matches on Superstars this week, which got me to thinking; WWE should have another D-show called Divas. Book it, WWE Network.
This womb's not big enough for the two of us. |
But she's found her niche, I believe. I'm not sure what instructions she was given which led to her pouty-faced heel turn at SummerSlam, but the next night on Raw she nailed it. It's become clear that up until last week her personality buried in a role that wasn't like anything to which she could relate.
She cranked out another award-worthy showing this Monday in her sit-down with her estranged sister Brie and Jerry "The King" Lawler. From the opening moments when Nikki made her entrance and quickly moved her chair several feet away from Brie's (how Maury was that?) and blasted her sister for not being able to get her own entrance music to the brilliant final touches where she flipped Brie over in her chair and lobbed both of those thousand-dollar ridiculous heels (see what I did there?) at her face, it was gold from start to finish.
This bad acting stuff people are throwing around really bugs me, too. It seems that there's been a stigma around the Bella Twins lacking a knack for the business for so long, probably stemming from how green they actually were upon their debut years ago, that a lot of folks can't seem to step out of the bubble to look inward with fresh eyes and see just how much they've improved.
I'm not saying they're amazing actresses all around. For instance, Brie's currently a sobbing sack of rotten taters; grief is perhaps the emotion the Bellas most lack the capacity to express. But Nikki's promo on this week's Raw was among the best stuff any pro wrestler can dish out, and I'll go on record with that statement. The inevitable comparisons to Stephanie McMahon arise, but Stephanie is not an actual wrestler and her personality is her money-maker. I'm talking about actual wrestlers, and not many of them can do it better than what Nikki Bella just served up.
She certainly acts circles around her boyfriend. But I'll leave it at that.
To play devil's advocate, I will acknowledge how big a mistake it is to continue having Brie cry and snot all over herself every week because that dog just won't hunt. It might sound best to the writers on paper, but you've got to play to your strengths and this ain't one of them for Brie or Nikki Bella. It's time for Brie to move into the anger stage.
The point I'm making here is that the Bellas' segment on Raw was riveting storyline progression and it's something fans of Divas wrestling have been so thirsty for over the last seven or eight years that we're ready to lap it off the floor. These last two weeks have been utilized to the fullest extent with the purpose of getting Nikki Bella - who had managed to drift into the blurry haze of Divas who aren't getting a title match this month - reacquainted with the audience in as big a way as possible.
And it's not just something that's happening to her as she soaks it all in; this girl is taking an active part in owning her future. She's thrown herself completely into the part and now she's running with the ball WWE has given her. Good for WWE. Good for Nikki Bella.
Also, "I wish you had died in the womb!" is one of the best lines in the history of professional wrestling.
Note to John Cena: leave the German Suplexes to pros like Natalya. |
Things took a step toward non-PG territory on Raw when AJ expressed her affection for the Champion and kissed her on the hand... very softly. There was also a hug which Paige convincingly played off as quite uncomfortable. On Smackdown AJ actually brought chocolates for Paige in a segment that brought me my only actual laugh-out-loud experience of the week. After asking nicely a few times, AJ grew frustrated with Paige's reluctance to try one of the treats and demanded in her best Garrosh Hellscream angry orc tone, "EAT ONE!"
Eating? Cherries? Innuendo. |
The dark side of Smackdown was that Paige defeated her opponent in under a minute. That's not too out of the ordinary until you add the fact that her opponent was Emma, with whom Paige had one of the top matches of the year back at NXT ArRIVAL. Friends and siblings always have the best matches together, which is why besties Paige and Emma work so well together. But even if you ignore that, there is absolutely no logical explanation for a match being so short when the exact same match was so full and competitive just six months ago.
Anywho, if this Divas Championship rivalry was given the time and effort of the Bella Twins feud we'd be in some amazing territory right now, but let's take baby steps, shall we?
Bayley picked up a win on NXT over Sasha Banks in a rematch from a couple of weeks ago. The match was short for NXT but these NXT girls always manage to impress no matter how long they're given. Post-match, Bayley was interviewed by Renee Young about her looming title match against Charlotte and was interrupted by the NXT Women's Champion.
Charlotte's microphone skills were almost as impressive as her in-ring talents. This woman's an amazon and when she started throwing threats, even I almost took a step back before I realized she was talking to Bayley. Bayley took the high road and tried to shake Charlotte's hand, but the Champion just backed away and said, "I warned you."
SHUDDER. |
This week on Impact (now on Wednesdays, derps) Taryn Terrell became the number one contender to the Knockouts Championship by defeating former Champ Madison Rayne, who seems to be making a heel turn for pretty much no reason at all. We're a few weeks removed from her extremely brief program with Brittany, who just turned heel on Madison, and now Madison is playing up the antagonist role herself.
Another solid showing for the Knockouts. |
It was a good match, though these two seemed to be a little off. Perhaps they just hadn't found a groove together, or perhaps the six-sided ring was throwing them off. Taryn seems to have struggled in remembering which ropes to hit, which is understandable. Remember, all these matches in this six-sided ring we're seeing on Impact pretty much happened at the exact same time, so all of TNA's wrestlers have likely gotten more comfortable with it since then.
So now Taryn is set to face Gail Kim next week for the Knockouts Title and it seems as though they may be grooming her for a win since they've really been playing up the angle of her never having been Champion. I don't know, It's all available in some spoilers somewhere, which I won't read. But even though I don't read spoilers, I really loathe when wrestling shows are filmed THIS FAR in advance. I understand TNA has to do what it has to do, but there's no denying that almost all the excitement of watching wrestling taped two months ago is completely lost.
And now the rumor's running around that TNA will likely be filming quite a few shows soon meant to be taking place after Bound For Glory, which is WrestleMania for them. It will be impossible not to spoil the biggest show of the year, and if that's not embracing your impending slow death, I don't know what is.
WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY! |
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