Smark Out Moment

On March 9, 2014 TNA presents the Lockdown pay-per-view event. Check here for live ppv coverage of results as well as a review of the show. Until then, here is the match lineup that has been announced so far and predictions for who will win.

TNA Lockdown 2014 PPV Live Coverage

MATCHES ON THE CARD:

• Lethal Lockdown: Team MVP (MVP, Jeff Hardy, Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) vs. Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Austin Aries, Robbie E & Jessie Godderz)
• TNA World Heavyweight Championship [Steel Cage Match]: Magnus (c) vs. Samoa Joe
• Steel Cage Match: Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III * may not be happening
• Steel Cage Match: James Storm vs. Gunner
• Knockouts Championship [Steel Cage Match]: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Gail Kim
• Steel Cage Match: Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw
• Six-Man Interpromotional Tag Team Steel Cage Match: The Great Muta, Seiya Sanada and Yasu vs. Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian) and Chris Sabin
• Manik vs. Tigre Uno

PREDICTIONS: Team MVP will come out on top and defeat Team Dixie. Magnus will retain the TNA Championship. Kurt Angle will defeat Ethan Carter III. Gunner will defeat James Storm. Madison Rayne retains. Mr. Anderson wins and so does Team Muta.

The pay-per-view is about to begin...

Six-Man Tag Steel Cage Match: Bad Influence & Chris Sabin vs. The Great Muta, Sanada and Yasu

Bad Influence come out wearing gis. Is it just me, or does Sabin look odd? There's a pretty awkward spot with Daniels accidentally giving Kazarian a clothesline that was just done too slow to look realistic. Muta isn't doing too much. He does spit the green mist in Kazarian's face. Sanada hits a moonsault on Daniels for the win.

WINNERS: The Great Muta, Sanada and Yasu via pinfall.
Not particularly interesting to me. Also, is this going to help TNA out by giving the spotlight to another company? I ask that as someone in the audience holds up an ECW Championship belt and the camera decides to focus on that instead of, I don't know, someone with a TNA-related sign?

Rockstar Spud is coming out in a checkerboard suit. He introduces Dixie Carter. She rambles about nonsense—nothing important that you wouldn't expect with this angle. It's pretty funny, though, as she calls TNA an international success.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash and Velvet Sky are looking at the Twitter questions. Eric Young as well.

Steel Cage Match: Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

I think I should change my prediction to Samuel Shaw winning, now that I've taken a better look at this feud. Shaw climbs the cage with a microphone asking for Christy Hemme to come out. He says if Hemme doesn't come out, he's going to "professionally end it all", standing on top of the cage. Anderson comes out. He tells him if he jumps from that height, he'll just twist an ankle or something, but if he steps down and lets Anderson beat him up a bit, he'll drive him anywhere he wants to go. Shaw basically keeps climbing the cage with Anderson dragging him back down. This is boring. Shaw goes to escape the cage through the door and when Anderson bumps into him, Earl Hebner goes flying. That's what you get for trying to unlock the cage. Don't you know that every TNA pay-per-view needs a ref bump? Anderson hits a Mic Check on the turnbuckle. As Anderson drops to the floor, Shaw is somehow able to pull Hemme into the ring through the camera hole. Why it's that big is ridiculous. And now that Hebner is knocked out and Anderson is outside of the ring, he's locked out. Anderson gets the key and comes back in. I'll give them credit that that's somewhat different. Shaw low-blows Anderson and then puts him in his submission finisher. Shaw walks out and conveniently, Hebner is fully awake and holding the door open for him.

WINNER: Samuel Shaw via escaping the ring.
Decent end, but it could have been done better as well. The match itself wasn't entertaining to me.

Backstage, Team Dixie Carter is talking their hesitation about Dixie's "insurance policy" she claims to have. They also argue how to split the 10% ownership that Bobby Roode will gain when they win.

Ethan Carter III comes out to issue an open challenge, now that Kurt Angle has been written off the card. He boasts about the injury he gave to Angle. Bobby Lashley answers the challenge and Carter is mad because Lashley isn't a regular roster member.

Steel Cage Match: Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley gives him a running power slam and then spears him.

Oh. Okay. I guess this wasn't a match, just two moves.

A Kenny King promo airs, saying he's "coming soon". Wasn't he already there...and a former champion?

Magnus says he was supposed to have an interview but it's now an "individual address", so he's by himself talking to the camera/audience. He's going to retain. Blah blah blah. He then points to several locations (I'm assuming guts and heart) that the camera framing doesn't show. Smart.

Steel Cage Match: Manik vs. Tigre Uno

These two are going to do their best to wake things up. The energy is pretty high, which is good. X Division action per usual, which is a step up from the events of the pay-per-view so far. There's a lot of reversals and some decent action. Nothing is too crazy to report on. Manik puts a nice surfboard on Tigre Uno. Ouch...after a series of reversals, Tigre Uno slams Manik seemingly on his neck. He follows that up with the Sabretooth Splash, which is nice, for the win.

WINNER: Tigre Uno via pinfall.
Best match of the night so far.

Steel Cage Match: James Storm vs. Gunner

Did I hear them right, that this is a Last Man Standing...steel cage match? Okay. Then it isn't really much of a steel cage match if they can't escape, but whatever. They're not even in the ring anyway to escape it. They're just brawling on the outside. The main weapon of this fight has been the top of the steps, which basically just looks like a big metal cookie sheet. Gunner keeps ramming his head in the turnbuckle after Storm does it to him a few times. That'll help. Storm tosses Gunner face-first into a chair that was wedged between the turnbuckles and follows it up by assaulting him with the chair. Gunner goes to the top rope and tries what I think was a headbutt, but Storm moves the chair in his way instead. Storm puts two chairs next to each other. This is sure to backfire on him. Both men are on the top rope. Gunner gives Storm a superplex through the chairs for the victory.

WINNER: Gunner via standing up.
This was probably awesome for the people that love TNA, but for an outsider like myself, it just wasn't good enough.

Knockouts Championship Steel Cage Match: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Gail Kim

It's quite annoying with Lei'd Tapa shouting on the outside and grabbing at the cage and such. I hope this match is as good as I was expecting it to be. Unfortunately, it isn't. Gail hits a nice neckbreaker of sorts from the top rope for a two-count. Madison hits a spear from the top rope for the win.

WINNER: Madison Rayne via pinfall.
I was hoping this would be so, so much better. Sadly, I was disappointed. I still do think these two women would have put on a better match than nearly every Diva in WWE would, but that doesn't mean it deserves higher marks than just judging it fairly on its own.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match: Magnus (c) vs. Samoa Joe

I have no idea why they are saying there are three options to win the match: knockout, "tap out", or submission. What is the difference between the last two? That's ridiculous. There's no way Samoa Joe wins this match and TNA's done nothing to convince me that I should pay attention to it. Joe is dominating, naturally. This will be the majority of the match and then Magnus will cheat to win or something and that will be the whole thing. You're not missing anything. They waste some time with a Figure Four. Joe puts Magnus in an armbreaker and Magnus reaches a rope, which somehow breaks the hold. How does that make any sense? They specifically mentioned that there are no disqualifications and you can only win by pinfall, submission or "the same thing as submission". Ugh. Even Taz doesn't know what's up with the rules as he confuses knockout and submission. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and follows it up with the Rear Naked Choke. Suddenly, a hand pops up from under the ring. It drags Joe down. Joe comes back up after a minute. He starts choking Magnus and Abyss then shows up, hitting Joe. Magnus puts Joe in a Rear Naked Choke while he's knocked out.

WINNER: Magnus via submission...or is it tap out? They classified it was "via choke out". WTF, TNA.
Stupid.

Lethal Lockdown: Team MVP (MVP, The American Wolves and Willow) vs. Team Dixie (Bobby Roode, Austin Aries and BroMans)

We're starting with MVP and Austin Aries. Nothing really special is going on to report about. Next up is Robbie E. Eddie Edwards is next. He's followed by Jessie Godderz. Davey Richards is next. The crowd starts chanting "fuck'em up Davey, fuck'em up", haha. Bobby Roode comes out next. Willow should be coming up. Aaand here he is. He shows up at the top of the cage and jumps off. The fans don't seem to really care. Out comes Dixie Carter, saying the special guest referee is Bully Ray. The American Wolves hit a double coast-to-coast on Robbie E. Aries hits a brainbuster on a chair on one of the Wolves. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb for a two-count. Roode gets ready to throw MVP through the table, but Bully Ray blocks him. He'll give him a Bubba Bomb through it instead. Nevermind, they just won't use the table. MVP hits his running kick and wins.

WINNERS: Team MVP via pinfall.
This was not "oh my god, so important, main event that nobody can miss" caliber, nor was it entertaining enough to justify the rest of the pay-per-view.


Reasoning: TNA just doesn't do it for me.