Smark Out Moment

The card for this looks like crap in my opinion. It's missing a lot of big names and seems like it just screams "filler pay-per-view". Sometimes, those events can shock us and be pure awesome, but more often than not, those become oversights and just a total mess, so I'm not looking forward to this at all. Only one match, the X-Division title defense, is one I'd be interested in watching outright. Other than that, I expect the rest to be mediocre at best but generally unsatisfactory. Let's hope I'm wrong.


PREDICTIONS: Blind shots in the dark as always, I'm going with Bobby Roode, Jesse Sorensen, Tara, Austin Aries, Garett Bischoff, AJ Styles, and Crimson/Morgan.

No Taz tonight, Jeremy Borash is with Mike Tenay. What's up with that? Apparently, there was a death in his family. Sorry to hear that. My condolences, Taz. No ripping on you tonight.

#1 Contender's Match (for X-Division Championship): Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen
Sorensen gives his football to a kid in the crowd. Zema Ion offers the same kid his hairspray. After a minute of wrestling, Ion takes the football away from the kid. Tenay's play-by-play commentary is quite good tonight. Zema Ion moonsaults onto Sorensen on the outside. He takes a while down, and the ref isn't really counting. If this is a storyline, it's awkward, and if it's an injury, it's even more awkward. Now the ref is holding up the X and Zema Ion wins.

WINNER: Zema Ion via count out.
Not much of a match to review. This was short.

Trainers and such are checking up on Sorensen.

Backstage, Christy Hemme talks to Bobby Roode, who touts himself as the dominant champion and says he keeps walking out the champ - he gets the job done.

Television champion Robbie E comes down to the ring and gets the mic. He says there's the Robbie E Invitational and challenges anyone. Shannon Moore accepts the challenge.

TV Championship: Robbie E (c) vs. Shannon Moore
Right off the bat, Robbie E decides to leave and walk up the ramp. Moore brings him back down to the ring. Back and forth action, nothing too impressive or weird. T takes a shot against Moore, E follows it up and wins.

WINNER: Robbie E via pinfall.
Would have preferred the pay-per-view to just end earlier than to have this match on it.

Knockouts Championship: Gail Kim (c) vs. Tara
My apologies for not reporting much but this is just not special at all. It's not keeping my attention. Nothing of note happens and then Gail Kim gets her finishing move on Tara to win.

WINNER: Gail Kim
Didn't care for it.

Tag Team Championship: Crimson & Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus
This whole pay-per-view is just very bland to me. This match is following the same pattern. It's very generic and feels like I'm watching an episode of Impact as opposed to a ppv. Blah blah blah. Crimson accidentally hits a spear on Matt Morgan. Joe and Magnus capitalize and pin Morgan to win the tag titles.

WINNERS (and new tag team champions): Samoa Joe and Magnus via pinfall.
Continues to be a boring pay-per-view.

Bully Ray cuts a great promo backstage. This guy's one of the best in the company now, which is so weird.

They say they'll update everyone on Sorensen's condition as soon as they can.

X-Division Championship: Austin Aries (c) vs. Alex Shelley
50/50 Aries vs Shelley chant in the crowd. Some innovative moves here and there. Shelley jumps awkwardly over the top rope from the turnbuckle to land on Aries, but nobody gets injured or anything (it just looked weird to me). Aries takes too long preparing the pendulum elbow drop and misses it. Shelley picks up the pace and gets back in the swing of things. There's a second where I thought Alex Shelley was the champion as Aries quite literally grabbed the rope at a fraction of a second away from being pinned - very good. There's another 2-3/4 pinfall, this time on Shelley, after Aries hits the Brainbuster. Shelley blasts Aries with a kick to the head and gets a two count. "This is awesome" chant in the crowd. Aries locks in his submission move (Last Chancery? Is that how you spell it?) and Shelley taps out.

WINNER: Austin Aries via submission.
Match of the night. Very entertaining.

Backstage, Hardy, dressed like an idiot, says he's feeling lucky.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian
"Daniels sucks" chant from the crowd. Kazarian isn't necessarily wrestling as a heel, which I like. Unfortunately, this match is suffering a bit in my mind from a bad atmosphere. It feels, again, like it's not important and a pay-per-view match. It's not bad, however, it's just not feeling to me as if it's something you should be paying to watch. Say what you want about how I rip on TNA but there's just something about WWE's production values and everything that makes every pay-per-view feel like a pay-per-view even if the match quality sucks as well. Nice Russian leg sweep from Kazarian. Time for the finishing maneuver reversals. Styles gets up on the ropes for a springboard to Kazarian but moonsaults backwards onto Daniels. Kazarian is able to take that opportunity to hit his finisher on Styles afterward and win the match.

WINNER: Kazarian via pinfall.
Second best match of the night, but not as good as the X-Division title match.

Backstage, Bischoff says Gunner is going to destroy Garett and he wants Hogan to throw in the towel.

Gunner vs. Garett Bischoff
Garett Bischoff, the future of the business. Hm. Methinks there's a bit of favoritism going on. Boring match again. This pay-per-view...man...what a shame. It didn't have a ton of potential in my mind to start with but they just seem so off today. It isn't even "TNA is booking this like they're insane and the wrestlers are botching like crazy" on normal scales, it's just flat out bland. It's like the wrestling equivalent of overcooked spaghetti - sure, you know what it is and it has a vaguely similar taste but you just don't enjoy it because of how much of that taste has been drained from it. Bischoff lands a punch on Garett. Hogan walks over and punches Eric to coincide. Garett goes for an inside cradle and gets a two-count. Hogan considers throwing in the towel but Garett tells him not to. Gunner then hits a DDT and pins Garett to win.

WINNER: Gunner via pinfall.
Pass.

Sting wants to make sure everyone is on their best behavior.

TNA Championship: Bobby Roode (c) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm vs. Bully Ray
During the introductions, Bully Ray grabs the mic from Hemme and says "shut up skank" and introduces himself. Roode tries to convince Ray to work together with him but Ray isn't up for the idea. Storm and Hardy work together against Roode, however. That eventually stops as it always does with some quick pin attempts. Ray eventually enters the match and now we're at standard 4-way methodology where there's basically two people sitting off to the side. Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind on Roode but it's a two-count. Nice spot where Storm and Hardy give Roode a Superplex while Ray powerbombs them both. They land a little weird, but it doesn't appear as though anybody is injured. And here we go with the referee down. Bubba Bomb on Jeff Hardy and Ray really should have won. Jeff then hits a Twist of Fate on Ray and the ref is still out. Roode spears Hardy but gets a Codebreaker from Storm afterward.Storm hits the Last Call on Roode but before the ref can count to 3, Bully Ray pulls him out. Storm then jumps to the outside and lands on the ref, taking him out again. Roode hits a spinebuster on Ray. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Roode, then misses the Swanton. Roode gets the title belt and goes to use it against Hardy, but Sting grabs it away from him. Roode taunts him to hit him. Sting goes for it but hits Hardy in the head instead. Sting has to count the pinfall.

WINNER: Bobby Roode via pinfall.
Not bad, not great. The last 2 minutes were the highlight of it.